your looks

[dianeseattle]

Does anyone here remember the story of Helen of Troy? She was so beautiful, wars were fought over her. There have been many stories and legends in the last 2000 or 3000 years where a woman's Beauty was at the center of the motivation.

And most women also go for the handsomest man they can find, or at least they love to look at photos of handsome movie stars and singers and whatnot. You don't usually see a pin up in some dorm room of a fat guy.

Weight loss surgery is designed to help you drop a lot of weight. It works because diets do not work. And even though we like to say that the biggest payoff is health and that weight loss surgery can reduce or cure disease, don't dismiss the beauty Factor.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to look good. It is one of the most important things about having the surgery. And lately we have been seeing a lot of new pictures from old members and wowza! Look how beautiful they are becoming. They write about how much their health has improved, but it is valid for them also to write about how good they look. Beauty can punch a big hole in depression. Don't dismiss it out of hand. most important things about having the surgery. And lately we have been seeing a lot of new pictures from old members and wiser! Look how beautiful they are becoming. they right about how much their health has improved, but it is valid for them also to write about how good they look. Beauty can punch a big hole in depression. Don't dismiss it out of hand. Soon enough you will be aging again and you are going to need every bit of self-esteem you can find. You may age beautifully like Helen Mirren or Meryl Streep but enjoy your beauty while you have it. And Men, enjoy your handsomeness and the Improvement to your physique. You earned it, just like you earned the weight loss. You had to change your life forever. Rejoice every day in everything you have.

 

[Brenda2010]

There is nothing wrong with wanting to look good. It is one of the most important things about having the surgery.

You earned it, just like you earned the weight loss. You had to change your life forever. Rejoice every day in everything you have.

Thank you for this post Diane!!! With my upcoming body reconstruction (and yes, that’s the only appropriate term for it), I had to sit down with my boss to give her a head’s up. I could sense immediately that she thought it was unnecessary and vein. She is my age, an average size woman who never had a weight issue. The first thing she said was “I wish I could have a tummy-tuck” but in a tone suggesting that it was so frivolous that she couldn’t imagine anyone considering it. Talk about minimalizing the damage that carrying around an extra 120+ pounds takes on your body! I felt like asking her, “Who told you that you couldn’t have a tummy-tuck”? But I bit my tongue. She was very negative about the whole thing, asking if I knew what I was in for pain wise and everything. As if I hadn’t done hundreds of hours of research before my decision.

Anyway… It’s nice to hear from someone that it’s perfectly fine for me to want to look good. That doing this doesn’t make me completely conceited with whacked out values. So thank you!

 

[missdarmitage]

You are so right, Diane. The beauty factor does play a huge role in all of this. I have never in my life felt beautiful. Family has said it to me, but they are family and it is said with more than a hint of bias. But they have it right. They have told me I'm beautiful because they know me inside and out and they are basing that statement not on my looks but on me as a whole. And I'm grateful for that. But I have always craved to just once, have someone say it because they think my looks are beautiful. Then you go and tell me I'm gorgeous in my photo. I'm not going to lie, I broke down completely because that is the first time I have ever been told that and I'm actually starting to believe it myself. And the effect that had on my self esteem and mental wellbeing? It is beyond measure. We all want it and we are afraid to say it because it seems cruel to hope for something that is that far out of reach. But for the first time, it is actually in my fingertips and soon I will have a death grip on it and never let it go.

The way I feel is honestly the most important thing to me for the simple fact that I have lived life for so long with pain. Pain every day in my knee, in my back, in my feet, and so many other places. I have had one knee surgery and three back surgeries. None of them have gotten rid of the daily pain like losing weight has. The first thing I notice every morning when I wake up is the lack of pain and I take a minute to revel in that. Then I get up, put on my work out clothes and stop in front of the mirror to marvel at the physical transformation as well. The healthy feeling brought me back from insanity and the visual aspect is propelling me into my future. All of it is perfectly fine to want. And best of all, we can have it

 

[dianeseattle]

Wow, I had no idea how much this concept would resonate with you. The two of you have expanded on the topic exceptionally. I hope everyone else is listening. Yes we want to be healthy. Yes we want to be rid of disease. Yes it is a last-ditch attempt at something resembling a life. And yes, it is an opportunity to look as beautiful as you feel.

I hope others will share their Journeys with us and take pictures and post them. This could be a handsome beauty pageant. Here are two photos I took today, one with my new glasses, and one without. And in both of them I am wearing the human hair wig I bought for $9 at a thrift shop, but this time I'm not wearing it ironically. I am wearing my wig because I like the way I look in it.

p.s
The photos won't attach so I'm going to try sending them individually after I send this.

 

[dianeseattle]

 

[dianeseattle]

https://www.americanbariatrics.org/data/xfmg/thumbnail/0/847-2030f4cbb6024df94c0ccb58aab8e31d.jpg?1576638542

 

[Brenda2010]

Wow, I had no idea how much this concept would resonate with you. The two of you have expanded on the topic exceptionally. I hope everyone else is listening. Yes we want to be healthy. Yes we want to be rid of disease. Yes it is a last-ditch attempt at something resembling a life. And yes, it is an opportunity to look as beautiful as you feel.

I hope others will share their Journeys with us and take pictures and post them. This could be a handsome beauty pageant. Here are two photos I took today, one with my new glasses, and one without. And in both of them I am wearing the human hair wig I bought for $9 at a thrift shop, but this time I'm not wearing it ironically. I am wearing my wig because I like the way I look in it.

p.s
The photos won't attach so I'm going to try sending them individually after I send this.

LOVE the pics.

Yes, this is a topic that has been on my mind a lot. I'm 45 years old, I want to experience the second half of my life without feeling the shame that being a fat woman most of my life has made me feel. I think I'm entitled to that. People who haven't ever struggled with their weight just don't understand the toll it takes on your self esteem and even your identity. I totally relate with Miss D when she wrote (paraphrasing) that she always tried to fade into the background because she knew she was a living billboard for obesity. I've been feeling exactly the same since I was 7 years old. I want to stop hiding!