hmboucher64
Member
that was rude not helpful!!
3 yrs out and feel like a failure !
- Thread starter Annie57
- Start date
It is so true. Even after I lost weight I still saw myself as 305 lbs. It is easy to see why anorexics still themselves as fat even when they are bone thin. I just posted about my struggles after 15 years. Please make sure to get back in touch with support groups--find a nutritionist (that specializes in eating problems after gastric--not one that deals with nutrition right after bypass--BIG difference) and doctor in your area to help. As far as food making you sick it still does the same to me. They finally found out it was because the opening to my stomach had really narrowed b/c of scar tissue. Please look into this before it gets to far and you develop far more complications as I have. I still have hope thata quality life will happen soon for me and will post after I have this next surg. Good luck!
It is not just about wanting it. There are also physical problems that happen to cause problems and feelings of failure. Please see my post about 15+ years post op. I do agree though that the demons and habits from the past have to be dealt with and it is an ongoing struggle to keep the new lifestyle/habits. This surg. is only a step toward a new healthier lifestyle.
TwoMas
Member
Hi Sherie, I still see myself as 300+ lbs and I don't know why, I always gravitate towards the xxl and xl cloths and I am into a lg now, all my cloths are hanging off of my and they are most of the cloths that I grew out of years ago and kept incase I ever lost weight, my 36 levi's are all baggy on me, but when I look in the mirror I still se fat, so I still avoid the mirror some times, unless I am wearing something that makes me look and feal trim. 
Tom
Tom
TwoMas
Member
Hi Ruthie, what surgery did you have and did they send you home with spacific meal instructions? The following link will take you to the 5 day pouch test and how it works: http://www.americanbariatrics.org/content.php/80-Roux-en-Y-Gastric-Bypass-5-Day-Pouch-Test
I am not sure what surgeries were available then but my guess would be the rnY gastric bypass, they have learned much since 2004. Let me know if you have any more questions. I will send you a Private Message to chat more about this if you would like. Tom
I am not sure what surgeries were available then but my guess would be the rnY gastric bypass, they have learned much since 2004. Let me know if you have any more questions. I will send you a Private Message to chat more about this if you would like.
Tom
missk64
Member
Ann,
I am 4 years out and started gaining weight the end of last year. I moved from where I had lived my entire life to a new city. Eating is comforting and I am having a hard time taking off the 50 pounds I put on. I feel for you with the sagging skin. It hangs from my arms, my belly, my legs. People talked about the feelings I would have, but didn't listen. I didn't care I would be thin. When I got down to 160 and really would not have gone much lower because I looked so much older, I felt like I had lost my identity. I was severely obess my entire life. I couldn't take the compliments because I felt I looked so bad. Now the weight is back in my face and I like it more, but hate the fat that has come back with it. I have talked to therapist and their answer. You are healthy. Be happy. I have a twin sister who is 300 pounds and looks 10 years younger than I am. They have asked me repeadtily if I am her mother. I can't find support groups here in Tampa, but stumbled upon this site. I am looking for some one that I can talk to about how the surgery has changed my life, good and bad, and what it has done to my self esteem. If you would like to be pen pals I would love to have someone who is in the same boat.
I am 4 years out and started gaining weight the end of last year. I moved from where I had lived my entire life to a new city. Eating is comforting and I am having a hard time taking off the 50 pounds I put on. I feel for you with the sagging skin. It hangs from my arms, my belly, my legs. People talked about the feelings I would have, but didn't listen. I didn't care I would be thin. When I got down to 160 and really would not have gone much lower because I looked so much older, I felt like I had lost my identity. I was severely obess my entire life. I couldn't take the compliments because I felt I looked so bad. Now the weight is back in my face and I like it more, but hate the fat that has come back with it. I have talked to therapist and their answer. You are healthy. Be happy. I have a twin sister who is 300 pounds and looks 10 years younger than I am. They have asked me repeadtily if I am her mother. I can't find support groups here in Tampa, but stumbled upon this site. I am looking for some one that I can talk to about how the surgery has changed my life, good and bad, and what it has done to my self esteem. If you would like to be pen pals I would love to have someone who is in the same boat.
claireki
Member
miss k,
hello, I am new to this also. I had my surgery 3 yrs ago. I have only lost about 95 lbs. Yes sometimes I feel like a failure too. But I keep telling myself that I cant give up. I do look and feel better than I did 3 yrs ago. I havent gained any back but not loosing either. I am struggling but am determined to get back on track. You can do it!
Claire
hello, I am new to this also. I had my surgery 3 yrs ago. I have only lost about 95 lbs. Yes sometimes I feel like a failure too. But I keep telling myself that I cant give up. I do look and feel better than I did 3 yrs ago. I havent gained any back but not loosing either. I am struggling but am determined to get back on track. You can do it!
Claire
missk64
Member
Thank you for the support Claire. Do you have much more to lose. I am ready to go back to the 5 day pouch test. That got me back on track last year. I guess I am freaking out because my family reunion is at thanksgiving and the last time I went was when I was a year and a half out and I just shocked everyone being at 180 as opposed to 440. I know I need to just be concerned with how I feel and that is the frame of mind I am striving for. Claire are you exercising. I know it is hard and I hate it, but when I do, I lose and stay on track. Thanks again.
claireki
Member
I have about 35 lbs to go. I do walk about 3-4 miles a day. My problem is I dont have any bad reactions to some things like some people do.... Which means that I have been cheating lately. I have been doing a lot of stress eating. I think I am going to try this 5 day pouch test to get back on track. Best of luck to both of us..... We can do this!!!!!
debann524
New Member
Almost 8 years...
I had my surgery December, 2004 - in Massachusetts. I did so well my surgeon told me I should be the poster child for gastric bypass. Success felt good. I would carry a photo of me before the surgery to remind me where I was - the mirror showed me how far I had come. I was doing so well, I didn't worry about support groups, didn't worry about foods - after all, I can't eat enough to gain weight. Then I moved to Florida, under stressful conditions - leaving my closest friends behind. I was 5 months out when I moved. In Florida, I made new friends - boyfriends. I cannot tell you how wonderful it was to have men watch me walk - come up to me and talk to me. My adult daughter said it was crazy how men would walk right past her to talk to me. I was on top of the world! I found a job at the hospital I had always wanted to work at - was able to buy MEDIUM uniforms. Not 1x or 3x - MEDIUM. OMG!
One man became very special to me, and we decided to be exclusive. We went to dinner frequently, he was a very sensible eater, and played tennis four times a week. Great motivator, right? But then...we started not getting along as well, one breakup, got back together. Two weeks later a breakup, got back together again. He bought me a beautiful little ring, a heart-shaped ruby on a delicate filigree band. It was his promise to be my one and only - I think he was allergic to the "marriage" word. He asked me to move in with him - I said let's wait awhile and see if we can stay together longer than a couple of weeks. He was okay with that. It was May, 2006.
So I moved in with him in September, 2006 - it was too far to commute to my dream job, so I took a job at the same hospital where he worked. Much less money, like $2.00/hour less. The work was harder, but the people were pretty friendly. He and I worked almost the same schedule, so we saw each other often. I thought my future was all set. But...by the end of October, he was restless. He felt crowded, he couldn't put his car in the garage (my stuff was in there), he felt I had abdicated my dog's care to him...so many fixable problems. Guess what? We broke up. I was devastated, he wanted me to take my time moving out - and expected me to still sleep in his room. Whoa, Nellie. No way.
I called my former employer, that dream job, and asked for my job back. I would have begged, but she didn't make me. She was wonderful and asked how soon could I start. I gave my two week notice, then started the commute of one hour each way to work. And then, at his home, I didn't know what I should be doing. So I would eat. Potato chips, chocolate, anything and everything. One day I stepped on the scale and I weighed 180 pounds. Holy hell! When did that happen? But I didn't worry about it.
I moved into my own apartment the first week in December, was happy to feel secure in my own space again. Somehow, I also developed an addiction (yes, addiction) to M&M's Plain. Had them with me all the time. Even at work, they were in my pocket. My co-workers would call me the M&M girl. Christmas came and 5 people bought me SIX-POUND bags of M&M's Plain. Seriously. I ate them too. One day I notice that I am barely below 200 pounds. OMG. I remember the day I broke that 200 barrier after surgery, barely four months after. Pre-surgery weight was 267.
Much more has happened since then, the bottom line is my husband (a different man) of 5 years is now living in Indiana and I am in Florida. I was the one who walked out, now I think it was a big mistake. I have made a lot of those. At least he and I are still talking. In March of this year, the doctor's scale said I weighed 267 pounds. No. It cannot be. I have gained back each and every pound I lost. I have no idea when I became so complacent, so uncaring of myself. My doctor just looked at the chart - at me - at the chart. She has known me six years, so she knows the time I was in Indiana was stressful. Yes, about 67 more pounds stressful. I started trying to get myself back on track and lost 11 pounds in 3 weeks. I am not completely on track, but I have looked into the "5 Day Pouch Test" and I think I can do it. Lose some weight, boost my self-esteem.
For the people who felt they looked older when thin - I feel for you. I could not believe the wrinkles I saw in my face. I had skin hanging everywhere, my arms weren't too bad because I was constantly picking up a grandchild and carrying them around. Plus my job kept me moving those arms. But the belly skin - it was terrible. I would get rashes where my skin flap rubbed my body. I asked a couple of women I knew had the same surgery - what did they do? The response was always the same, learn to live with it. The worst part, for me at least, was I had no breasts. I have always been "endowed," and I was not one bit happy that my breasts appeared to have had all the air sucked out and my nipples were pointing at the floor. Not happy. Now, I have some fat in my face and I feel normal. I have breasts again, even cleavage. But my butt is so big I may have to register it for its own zip code. Big shelf back there, can't store anything on it. I hate it. I have days when I feel bad for regaining the weight, and days when I don't even care that I regained the weight. I know what to do - I know I need to motivate myself. My mantra - "That which does not exist within, will never be found without."
I had my surgery December, 2004 - in Massachusetts. I did so well my surgeon told me I should be the poster child for gastric bypass. Success felt good. I would carry a photo of me before the surgery to remind me where I was - the mirror showed me how far I had come. I was doing so well, I didn't worry about support groups, didn't worry about foods - after all, I can't eat enough to gain weight. Then I moved to Florida, under stressful conditions - leaving my closest friends behind. I was 5 months out when I moved. In Florida, I made new friends - boyfriends. I cannot tell you how wonderful it was to have men watch me walk - come up to me and talk to me. My adult daughter said it was crazy how men would walk right past her to talk to me. I was on top of the world! I found a job at the hospital I had always wanted to work at - was able to buy MEDIUM uniforms. Not 1x or 3x - MEDIUM. OMG!
One man became very special to me, and we decided to be exclusive. We went to dinner frequently, he was a very sensible eater, and played tennis four times a week. Great motivator, right? But then...we started not getting along as well, one breakup, got back together. Two weeks later a breakup, got back together again. He bought me a beautiful little ring, a heart-shaped ruby on a delicate filigree band. It was his promise to be my one and only - I think he was allergic to the "marriage" word. He asked me to move in with him - I said let's wait awhile and see if we can stay together longer than a couple of weeks. He was okay with that. It was May, 2006.
So I moved in with him in September, 2006 - it was too far to commute to my dream job, so I took a job at the same hospital where he worked. Much less money, like $2.00/hour less. The work was harder, but the people were pretty friendly. He and I worked almost the same schedule, so we saw each other often. I thought my future was all set. But...by the end of October, he was restless. He felt crowded, he couldn't put his car in the garage (my stuff was in there), he felt I had abdicated my dog's care to him...so many fixable problems. Guess what? We broke up. I was devastated, he wanted me to take my time moving out - and expected me to still sleep in his room. Whoa, Nellie. No way.
I called my former employer, that dream job, and asked for my job back. I would have begged, but she didn't make me. She was wonderful and asked how soon could I start. I gave my two week notice, then started the commute of one hour each way to work. And then, at his home, I didn't know what I should be doing. So I would eat. Potato chips, chocolate, anything and everything. One day I stepped on the scale and I weighed 180 pounds. Holy hell! When did that happen? But I didn't worry about it.
I moved into my own apartment the first week in December, was happy to feel secure in my own space again. Somehow, I also developed an addiction (yes, addiction) to M&M's Plain. Had them with me all the time. Even at work, they were in my pocket. My co-workers would call me the M&M girl. Christmas came and 5 people bought me SIX-POUND bags of M&M's Plain. Seriously. I ate them too. One day I notice that I am barely below 200 pounds. OMG. I remember the day I broke that 200 barrier after surgery, barely four months after. Pre-surgery weight was 267.
Much more has happened since then, the bottom line is my husband (a different man) of 5 years is now living in Indiana and I am in Florida. I was the one who walked out, now I think it was a big mistake. I have made a lot of those. At least he and I are still talking. In March of this year, the doctor's scale said I weighed 267 pounds. No. It cannot be. I have gained back each and every pound I lost. I have no idea when I became so complacent, so uncaring of myself. My doctor just looked at the chart - at me - at the chart. She has known me six years, so she knows the time I was in Indiana was stressful. Yes, about 67 more pounds stressful. I started trying to get myself back on track and lost 11 pounds in 3 weeks. I am not completely on track, but I have looked into the "5 Day Pouch Test" and I think I can do it. Lose some weight, boost my self-esteem.
For the people who felt they looked older when thin - I feel for you. I could not believe the wrinkles I saw in my face. I had skin hanging everywhere, my arms weren't too bad because I was constantly picking up a grandchild and carrying them around. Plus my job kept me moving those arms. But the belly skin - it was terrible. I would get rashes where my skin flap rubbed my body. I asked a couple of women I knew had the same surgery - what did they do? The response was always the same, learn to live with it. The worst part, for me at least, was I had no breasts. I have always been "endowed," and I was not one bit happy that my breasts appeared to have had all the air sucked out and my nipples were pointing at the floor. Not happy. Now, I have some fat in my face and I feel normal. I have breasts again, even cleavage. But my butt is so big I may have to register it for its own zip code. Big shelf back there, can't store anything on it. I hate it. I have days when I feel bad for regaining the weight, and days when I don't even care that I regained the weight. I know what to do - I know I need to motivate myself. My mantra - "That which does not exist within, will never be found without."
Pat99
Member
Debann-Thanks for sharing. Sounds like you are quite resilient and know what you need and want to be happy. Life is full of challenges and choices and we all need to choose which path we will take and sometimes we have to stumble first. I don't know anyone who has ever claimed to have made all the right choices. Hopefully you will find the support and encouragement in this forum that you need to get to where you want to be.
Gbaiamonte
New Member
Hi Pat:
Thanks for being so suportive to so many people on the site. I am conducting research on Post Bariatric Surgery and thought you would be a good person to ask if you would like to help be a part of research. Click on the survey link below. Thanks for all you do.
http://nnu.us.qualtrics.com/SE/?SID=SV_aXzZzHDDZiajdC4
Gina Baiamonte
Northwest Nazarene University
Thanks for being so suportive to so many people on the site. I am conducting research on Post Bariatric Surgery and thought you would be a good person to ask if you would like to help be a part of research. Click on the survey link below. Thanks for all you do.
http://nnu.us.qualtrics.com/SE/?SID=SV_aXzZzHDDZiajdC4
Gina Baiamonte
Northwest Nazarene University
Gbaiamonte
New Member
survey
That's great Tom! I am glad you took the survey. Please email link to your friends that had the surgery as well.
http://nnu.us.qualtrics.com/SE/?SID=SV_aXzZzHDDZiajdC4
That's great Tom! I am glad you took the survey. Please email link to your friends that had the surgery as well.
http://nnu.us.qualtrics.com/SE/?SID=SV_aXzZzHDDZiajdC4
Gbaiamonte
New Member
I will let you know the outcome.