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Family unhappy with my weight

NanaG67

NanaG67

Member
Hi everyone! I am currently 18 months out and have lost 130 lbs since surgery, with a total of 150.25 lost. I feel I am at a good place and fairly happy with my weight. I have family that say I should have it reversed cause they don't like how I look, that I was prettier when I was heavy or that they don't like the side effects since surgery, like the extreme gas or bad smelling gas, or the fact that I can't hardly eat like the rest of the family eats, you know...the All You Can Eat joints such as Chinese, or Golden Corral, etc...Have any of you dealt with this problem? My hubby is happy with my weight loss, but not the fact that I feel sick all the time (bad gallbladder) or that my hair is thinner and doesn't look good right now, just little things....How do I get past this?
 
NanaG67 said:
Hi everyone! I am currently 18 months out and have lost 130 lbs since surgery, with a total of 150.25 lost. I feel I am at a good place and fairly happy with my weight. I have family that say I should have it reversed cause they don't like how I look, that I was prettier when I was heavy or that they don't like the side effects since surgery, like the extreme gas or bad smelling gas, or the fact that I can't hardly eat like the rest of the family eats, you know...the All You Can Eat joints such as Chinese, or Golden Corral, etc...Have any of you dealt with this problem? My hubby is happy with my weight loss, but not the fact that I feel sick all the time (bad gallbladder) or that my hair is thinner and doesn't look good right now, just little things....How do I get past this?
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First of all, CONGRATULATIONS on your amazing weight loss!!! You have worked too hard and gone through too much work to reverse the surgery. Don't let the family get you down. We are here for you.

I also have a bad gallbladder and my primary care doctor wants me to get it out before it becomes infected and could become a very bad situation. If you were to go ahead and get it out you probably would feel good.

As far as your family wanting you to eat more.. it's very selfish on their part to want you to risk heart problems, diabetes, and many other weight related diseases. I came from a large family that celebrated most every occasion by eating out at the all you can eat restaurants. Sure we had fun watching the kids in the family compete as to who could eat the most desserts. However many good times we had it wasn't worth the pounds that were gained, slow but sure. You can still go to restaurants with your family, just don't let them dictate what you should eat. Stay strong! They just may be a bit jealous of you because you have control over your life. Why are they saying that you looked better fat? That is not likely. 150 pounds heavier is a substantial amount of weight and why would they want you to gain it back? Are they overweight?

Stay strong!!! Get your gallbladder fixed, feel better and enjoy your new life :) You have all the support in the world right here on this forum. Good Luck!!!

Cheyenne :cool:
 
Thank you Cheyenne! I have no intentions on reversing my surgery so that was never an option. We have been having family issues and my hubby has been out of work since Sept and now though we love each other, things are rough and we are not living together. He is at his sisters home helping her with her horses and stuff and I am staying with our daughter. I do go to those places on occasion, I just make sure I don't get more than my pouch can handle. Others may think its a waste of money to only get one plate of food, compared to 3 that I used to get, but I always make sure that I get things that are easy to eat and things that go down well.

Back to my gallbladder issue, I think I had a bad attack on it about 6 weeks ago or so. With no insurance now, I cannot afford to have it removed until it becomes an emergency situation. Last I knew it was full of sludge, so hopefully it will all work out in the end. And yes part of my family is overweight, 2 of the kids are (ages 29 & 27) my 20 yr old is skinny like his daddy. My mom, grandparents, aunts and uncles were all overweight. I do have an uncle that had the bypass, but he has lots of medical issues and I think he said he put some weight back on. I am not letting that happen.
 
NanaG67 said:
Thank you Cheyenne! I have no intentions on reversing my surgery so that was never an option. We have been having family issues and my hubby has been out of work since Sept and now though we love each other, things are rough and we are not living together. He is at his sisters home helping her with her horses and stuff and I am staying with our daughter. I do go to those places on occasion, I just make sure I don't get more than my pouch can handle. Others may think its a waste of money to only get one plate of food, compared to 3 that I used to get, but I always make sure that I get things that are easy to eat and things that go down well.

Back to my gallbladder issue, I think I had a bad attack on it about 6 weeks ago or so. With no insurance now, I cannot afford to have it removed until it becomes an emergency situation. Last I knew it was full of sludge, so hopefully it will all work out in the end. And yes part of my family is overweight, 2 of the kids are (ages 29 & 27) my 20 yr old is skinny like his daddy. My mom, grandparents, aunts and uncles were all overweight. I do have an uncle that had the bypass, but he has lots of medical issues and I think he said he put some weight back on. I am not letting that happen.
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I have a few choice words for your family, but decency doesn't allow me to publish them here.

You have enjoyed fantastic success.

I do hope you and/or your husband find employment in this "wonderful" economy again.

With respect to your gall bladder, have you discussed with your Doctor how to minimize your issues? Are there foods you can avoid? I know I may end up with an issue too. Not sure yet. I do have gall bladder stones. My doc mentioned to me that there is a drug that can dissolve stones, which may be all I need. I will be following up on this.

I wish you the best.

Also, personally I would not go out to all you can eat restaurants. If that is the only choice your family is "allowing" I would personally decline. I would also be more explicit with some few choice words!

Ralph
 
I agree with both Cheyenne and Ralph...

Like Ralph I have a few choice words as well; however being a good southern girl (G.R.I.T.S) I will not vocalize them.

I can say this much, What a bunch of selfish people...

Keep up the great job, bask in your health and enjoy life.
 
I agree with Cheyenne, Ralph, and Stinkerbelle. Enjoy your success and your jealous family members need to get over themselves and be happy for you. You have come too far and worked too hard for your health and happiness. I am sorry about your gall bladder. You should like Ralph said talk to your doc. I think the medicine is called Actigal. I don't have a gallbladder anymore so my surgeon said I shouldn't have any issues. I haven't had my surgery yet but I was supposed to back at the beginning of Dec so the nurse navigator ordered the meds that I was going to need for before and after surgery and those pill were one of the ones she said I was going to need. Continued success to you and don't worry about those family members. You can't please everyone so please yourself and enjoy your weightloss success.
 
Let me guess before surgery you put them before yourself right? Now you are putting yourself first. By now they should have acclimated to the change. You hubby is happy and seems concerned for your well being. Your gallbladder is a big deal and hopefully you will be able to take care of that asap.
 
Nana I'm not so nice, I would tell them to "Shut the Hell Up!" You've done an amazing job of getting your weight down and your health up, don't let anyone take you down. I know that WLS combined with other issues can be stressful on a marriage, but both of you wanted the same thing and now you have it, so working out your differences, while possibly difficult, can be done. You've shown that you have the strength. I will keep you in my prayers that everything works out for you and your husband.

Frank

:cool:

Of course I too have plenty of other choice words that I would say to them, but I've said enough.
 
No accounting for jerks in our families

YOU are doing a great job and that is that!! Some in your family and in many families are going to try to undermine what you have accomplished. Some are jealous and some do not like the control you have now over what you are eating and what you look like etc.
Gall Bladder needs to come out, I did it this past November through laproscope and it was nothing really. Just a little pain from the gas they put in your tummy to get a look in there and they take the GallBladder out and you feel better.
I can only eat a little food at a time, I mean I cannot eat most meats at all, all macaroni and speghetti, most salads so it is hard to get nourishing foods in and then amounts are like 2oz at a time or 3 maybe. I thought it would get so I could eat most anything in smaller amounts not in miniscule amounts. I have lost all my weight and now and trying to figure out a way of getting the weightloss to stop but will continue if my eating doesn't change. I eat little JellyBellies to get in calories and I seem to be addicted to sugar, I actually crave it.
Ask your family to keep their opinions to themselves, you do not need to hear what they have to say.
 
Sandie said:
YOU are doing a great job and that is that!! Some in your family and in many families are going to try to undermine what you have accomplished. Some are jealous and some do not like the control you have now over what you are eating and what you look like etc.
Gall Bladder needs to come out, I did it this past November through laproscope and it was nothing really. Just a little pain from the gas they put in your tummy to get a look in there and they take the GallBladder out and you feel better.
I can only eat a little food at a time, I mean I cannot eat most meats at all, all macaroni and speghetti, most salads so it is hard to get nourishing foods in and then amounts are like 2oz at a time or 3 maybe. I thought it would get so I could eat most anything in smaller amounts not in miniscule amounts. I have lost all my weight and now and trying to figure out a way of getting the weightloss to stop but will continue if my eating doesn't change. I eat little JellyBellies to get in calories and I seem to be addicted to sugar, I actually crave it.
Ask your family to keep their opinions to themselves, you do not need to hear what they have to say.
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Hi Sandie,

I hope you go back to your nutritionist and discuss your sugar cravings.

Are you still getting enough protein?

Also, one of the ways I get more calories is to drink juices rather than water. I look at a cranberry juice or apple juice as being a healthier choice as compared to some sugary treat. Now, don't get me wrong I have treated myself to a cookie now and then. But now a handful of cookies; if you know what I mean.

I just worry about this jelly bean sugar craving you are describing.

Ralph
 
Ya, I have always liked jelliebelly candie and gummy bears so it does not surprise me but ......... I ate NO sugar for about a year and then started to have a candy sucker here and there and then daily and then two to three daily and then switched over to JellyBellys. They are really small jelly beans so I may have 10-15 a day or less like today none so far. I have never had dumping syndrome sxs so that is not a worry, just a bad habit esp when I start to gain wait like most do. Right now trying NOT to LOSE weight at this point. Enjoy while I can maybe, not sure.
 
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