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Feeling Normal Again... But With One Issue

M

mmccarty

Member
I am so happy to be feeling somewhat normal again. I am eating foods I actually like but still very healthy. I am 7 weeks post operation now and I am down 38 lbs. this is a GREAT thing....BUT... I am not liking the compliments and attention I am getting because of it. I don't know why it bothers me. My boyfriend tells me everyday how great I am looking. (That doesn't bother me) but the comments and attention I get from everyone else does. Maybe it's because I don't feel like I look 38 lbs slimmer. I don't really know.

Is this something you have dealt with? I see a counselor so I plan on talking to her about this.
 
Hi. I haven't had surgery yet, but I can give you my own personal insight. I was married a long time and always faithful, but I was glad that men never hit on me, probably because of my weight. It made life simpler-- no dealing with unwanted attention, and I felt if a guy liked me it was for my mind. Just sayin'
 
My surgery is Dec 27 but I have lost 34 pounds. Several of my friends have told me I look great. I just smile and say thank you. Compliments are hard to accept when you don't think you deserve them. You deserve compliments - you are working very hard to improve your life. Please keep us posted - we care!
 
I've lost almost 80 pounds, and I get comments all the time. I see them as a confirmation that I made the right choice. Though I don't necessarily see the difference, others do. It's because we see ourselves every day, so the changes are much more subtle to us. Check out a picture of yourself prior to surgery and compare it to a picture of you today. I'll bet you see a difference.

Congratulations on your weight loss, and bask in the compliments, you earned them.

:cool:
 
OK here is my insight. Some who are overweight are overweight because of low self esteem and not the other way around so they do not believe they are worthy of compliments. There are some who feel that they got overweight and had to have surgery to correct it and feel bad to have had to do that so when a compliment comes their way, they feel," what are you talking about, I HAD to have surgery to lose, could not do it on my own so why compliment me". Also when someone says "you look great" are they saying you looked like crap before?
YOU have taken the bull by the horns, you have done what is necessary to make you healthier and be proud of your weight loss, try to see what these people, who are complimenting you, see. YOU are getting healthier, you are working hard(THIS IS NOT EASY) and talk to your counselor about why you are uncomfortable with accepting the reality of your weight loss and compliments.
 
It takes time for us to see ourselves as others do. So, hang in there. Yes people sometimes have to seek therapy for body image problems. I personally can't see myself very well either. I will go to a therapist if it continues. I just started group at the hospital but it was a Christmas thing and will be normal next month. So, maybe that will help. Congrats on the loss
 
Karen_golfs hi how are you feeling? so glad your surgery is over with, doing good with 38 pounds off, I know you will succeed and reach your goal in 2013. keep us posted on how you are doing.

Donna
 
mmccarty,

Like you, I did not see the weight loss everyone else saw but I really sat down and looked at my reason for surgery and decided it was to get healthy. Accept the compliments for what they are intended. You deserve them. It was so much easier once I started being able to walk better and had less arthritis pain due to the weight loss. People try to be kind and often do not realize that it might make you uncomfortable. They want you to succeed. The compliment that gets me is "you are so brave, I could never do what you did". It wasn't a matter of bravery, it was necessity if I wanted to live beyond seventy and I was not ready to become a hermit and just exist because I was so unhealthy. So, look at your reasons for surgery, set your goals, and be proud of every pound because it is not an easy journey to my way of looking at it. This is the very best thing I ever did for ME. Hope you feel that way too! Joy
 
Compliments from someone who never bothered talking to me before still bother me. I'm the same person. If I hadn't lost weight, I assume they still wouldn't be talking to or complimenting me, so they don't need to now! Compliments from those actively involved in my life are good. My counselor strongly advised taking one pix a month and keeping track w/that vs. just the ##. It is great to see the journey and know it's not over:eek:
 
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