Good Morning!
Well, I am still in disbelief, and still praying. I called the surgeon's office and was told that he will not do the surgery on regular Medicaid, but will on the HMO ones offered. Also, he won't do it without clearance from the pulmonologist. So, I got an earlier appt. with the lung doctor for Monday, but the reason for him making me wait has something to do with the CPAP I was precribed, and checking the results of my breathing. Again, I see it as a roadblock, and somewhat unecessary for the surgery. I have no trouble breathing, and I have been using a CPAP for the last 6 years. Is he just trying to make more money while I am trying to have an operation? Well, thanks to him, the surgery won't happen, now.
I did apply for Medicaid, and hope I can get it. Even if I won't be able to have this bypass, I still need insulin for my pump and all the other meds I take. I just pray I won't have to get all new doctors, since they are all specialists. Then we are moving May 1, and the rental office rep is spreading my woes to other residents, I have been told. Cruelty in a person's time of pain is the ultimate attack. Obviously I am not able to clean my place like before because of my pain situation, but why is she going around talking about that to my neighbors? Isn't it bad enought that I can't pay the last two months rent?
Today I just pray to keep my moods stable. My daughter shared her craziness with me last night. She is distressed about having to do more than she has been doing. Like, working looms in front of her if she is denied SSI, and it has caused her to stop doing everything else. We have a 3 bedroom townhouse to pack, and she lies in bed as if she can ignore it. Then my grandson had a meltdown because I wouldn't allow them to take my care to go to a cookout. So, it was a very horrible realization that my dependents are really so dependent, and can't be appreciative of all I do for them every day. I really pray for her to get her own place as soon as possible, so she may learn to understand how difficult it has been for me to support her in my health condition and bleak financial situaiton.
This week I learned from the Dept. of Labor that even though I am a tenured professor, my job still has the right to terminate me while I am out on disability. Only in New Jersey, it seems, the law allows the employer to fire anyone who they feel will be out from work too long. I do have a disability attorney, who advised me to apply for Medicaid, but he also said I may need an empoyment attorney, which I can't afford. I just pray to be granted SSD on the first try. Either that, or find another job quickly to hobble to, or possibly teach online, which I have never done.
I thought to myself this feels like I could sue my job for attempted murder, since they are ending all of my health benefits, which could adversely affect my health as it is now. LOL, take away my ability to get insulin, and what do I have? If medicaid says no, then what? Death. Not really a pleasant idea.
So, I contacted my neurologist for advice, and it seems he can answer silly Facebook comments, but not my questions. I have a form for him to fill out, so I need another appointment ASAP. I really don't even want to go to any more doctors in light of all of this ridiculousness. My sugars are higher because of the stress. Also, my blood pressure.
Wish me luck with packing, please. I am overwhelmed right now, and not just with having to move to a one bedroom place with my daughter and grandson. And again, thanks to all of your kind comments and prayers.
Valencia
Tom