• American Bariatrics is a free online Bariatric Support Group. Register for your free account and get access to all of our great features!

Frustrated with unsupportive family

enicholson20175

enicholson20175

Member
My surgery is scheduled in less than 2 weeks. I've shared my decision to go forward with this procedure with friends and family with quite a mixture of responses. Many ask why, since I do not fit the "classic morbid obese" category... and I respond with it being a mixture of health issues contributing to the need for it, in which even insurance supports it as "medically necessary". Most important being my struggle with diabetes for over a decade. I know this is the right decision for me and my family, including my husband and 4 yo twins... I NEED to be the BEST and HEALTHIEST me I can be so I can be around for a long time and enjoy life WITH them... not from sidelines.

Many people are curious. Some are excited. But most dissappointing is the lack of support and obvious disapproval from one side of the family. Even today, I was told that I shouldn't be doing this. I responded that it is a personal decision and is the right one for me. I cannot lie... IT HURT. I love my family and wish they would support my decision... especially since I will need them in the upcoming weeks.
 
Hi Enicholson
If you feel you're doing it for the right reasons , and health / diabetes and to be ther for you children are perfectly good reasons , i say except the negetive respose frome the few . im sure when they see you health improve very quickly they will see things you way . just consintrate on the positive and getting well . i noticed that you believe you need to lose 100 lbs , my doc considers that qualified for the surgery alone .
i hope my post helped
much love renie
P.S
im here if you need to talk good luck with you surgery you will be fine :)
 
Hi, I know it must be very disappointing for you but you have to consider your reasons and your needs. People don't understand how much their words can hurt. I don't think they mean to hurt intentionally but sometimes they seem to think they are showing their concern for your well being. You are doing this for the right reasons and besides it really is none of their business. People who are never or have never been overweight don't understand the struggle and they certainly don't understand why anyone would do this to themselves. They cannot comprehend why someone would do this when all you have to do is stop eating so much. They don't realize that diabetes is practically cured with this surgery as is high blood pressure. You want to get healthy and if you proceed with that in mind it will work out. Don't talk about being thin or even losing weight - focus on getting healthy and learning new behaviors for a healthy you. You have to do things for yourself sometimes. Hope this helps. Please keep us posted on how things are going and use the forum to vent if you need to and to ask questions of the many who have gone before you. Joy
 
I assume your family members are concerned about something happening to you during the surgery,my response when people have had a negative oppinion about the surgery I assure them I have done a-lot of research and met with many professionals about this and am very educated. Many people only hear negative things about the surgery and even at that they are'nt even true. You have made this decision after much education you know the reason and we are all here for you. Be well and I will be thinking of you and sending you positive thoughts your way.
 
hi enicholson 20175 I agree with the others whom have posted to your frustration. we will never be able to please everyone, but you know that you are having the surgery for YOURSELF &YOUR WELL BEING & YOUR TWINS & YOUR HUBBY, yes people worry about surgery, but once they see your diabetic leave and your health improve and see how happy you are, they'll be complimenting you on your success, don't give up on your dream, its a give of LOVE to yourself. this is the place to come to vent to get advice and to be accepted for whom you are. hang in there better days are ahead for you and your family. DOnna''
 
My family there are 3 sisters 2 told me not to do it and one swore I would die. They have not saw me since surgery. I had a mild stroke Thank God I recovered completely but it took a while & I gained weight cause I was confused and unbalanced when I walked. I had diabetes 3 shots 35 plus pills. And I felt I would die, I honestly was talking to my insurance agaent about more insurance. My doctor who is a saint told me all along Angie you will be okay in time. Well I can talk with out stuttering and I could walk again and no brain damage. So, one day a cousin had WLS she was really obese. I had not saw her for a few months and when I did I barely could believe my eyes. And a few more months still losing. I decided to attend a meeting to just see what it was all about. My daughter who by the way does support me attended with me. I left my insurance cards and recived "the package to give to my doctor" That was the first day of my life my new life. I now have normal blood pressure, no diabetes, no nothing I am healthy as a horse. Losing weight working out. I support you do it for you.
Hugs,
Angie
 
I understand what you have written...I was under the BMI to have the surgery but due to some very very serious medical problems...my insurances gave the go...I am already benifiting from the surgery....I have no one for support...but thank goodness I found this site when I did...Just keep coming here...for support...and good luck! abbie
 
I do come here for support and get and share my stories. Its wild the some people treat you as you lose weight. They either are happy and supportive or rude or ignore it. I am happy you decided to do this. You go girl!!!
 
I never worry about what others think of me or why I had my surgery. I did this for me and my family and those who are negative, well they don't rate my concern. You are doing a great thing for yourself and those you love. If your family won't support you, then like someone already said, consider me part of your family.

Frank

:cool:
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top