Husband left me, Im new and looking for friends and support

[lortiz25]

Along with having mental illness that put a strain on my marriage for the last 3 years, having surgery last year in June for health reasons, has completely made my husband resentful torwards me. He was supportive of me having the surgery, but wanted me to work on my mental health first and have the surgery a year later. I only waited 6 months. I was a 150lbs 9 years ago when we started dating. I gained weight and last year I was 210 before surgery. Today Im a size 4, 114 lbs. I have lost more weight than what the doctor told me I would and what I wanted. My goal weight was 140, but I kept on with my diet and excercise and kept losing. I was happy at 125-130, but I still lose weight. My husband liked me thick and was happy when I was around 140, but told me he that I was getting to skinny. Healthwise, Im physically healthy, no more asthma, sleep apnea, and diabetis meds. I haven't been this healthy since I was 16 years old. I don't regret having the surgery, but I hate that my husband is not physically attracted to me and left me a month ago saying that he doesn't love or like the new me and my new lifestyle, hes emotionally and physcially not attracted to me. And resents me and will never forgive me for having the surgery. He said since I have had the surgery all my focus was on healthy eating and excercise, and I put his needs and wants to the side. I admit this is true. I just don't know what to do. I am trying to gain weight, but being that Im depressed and sad, Ive had no appetite, so Ive lost about 3lbs in the last month. Im not gaining weight for my husband, i just feel im too thin, I can literally see my bones, I don't like it. If I can gain back 10-15lbs, Id be happy.

Let me know how to move forward with this seperation and if you feel there is any hope that he will ever be attracted to me again with my new body?

 

[Pat99]

Lortiz-Welcome to the forum and congratulations on your weight loss. But I don't know whether to send you a cyber hug or to applaud you, perhaps both are in order. First, take care of your health. Your doctor(s) should be able to help you gain a little weight if that is what you need to be healthy. Just ask for help and then do what they tell you to do. As for the situation with your hubby, you need to keep in mind what will make YOU happy. It speaks volumes that he left you just because you wanted to be healthy. Like I already mentioned you need to place your health first. Please come back to the forum to let us know how things are going for you. We are all here to support YOUR decisions. Good luck my friend

 

[TwoMas]

Hi Lortiz, Welcome. Like Pat said talk with your doctors about your weight and your health and they can help you put on the weight without unhealthy eating habits, besides unhealthy foods will more than likely make you sick at this point. As for your husband, it is very sad that he can not see and love you for who you are and honor the vows of "in sickness and in health" it sounds to me like you have achieved a very healthy lifestyle and no longer need the modern medicines to keep you alive, that in itself is a wonderful thing and somthing to be thankful for. Please don't set yourself back to please someone else, remember your health is number one and without your health life can be shorter than it needs. So take care of you and accept the fact you did nothing wrong. He has issues he needs to work on if he loves you he will have to accept you as you because inside you are still the same woman he married. Good luck and have faith. Tom