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Interesting family development... My mother is freaking out about my weight loss

OK, yesterday I received a call from my mom, she is crying and freaking out.

My mother(adoptive) is afraid I am losing to much weight and that I am way to thin, Seriously.
I listened to her rant about how tired I always look because my eyes are baggy, keep in mind I am up at 4 am, have olive shaped eyes and have lost well over 120 + pounds since 11/2013, something she apparently is not capable of understanding much less reasoning things out.
Then she started to cry and tell me how worried she is that I am looking so thin, gaunt and tired, Please I am wearing a 14/ 16 (down from a size 32).
I politely reminded her that this is the smallest I have been since 3rd grade and she is not used to seeing me this small.
She continued to cry and carry on. I then reminded her that my WLS Surgeon did not become one of the top two in the world by neglecting or providing poor care and support. This is when she went into full weirdness mode. She then told me that she does not trust any Dr.'s judgment, her, mine or anyone else's Dr.'s for that matter and that I really need to take better care of myself..
I explained to her that if I did have any of the issues she is ranting about I would not be able to walk / Jog 5 miles per day much less deal with strength training and swimming.

This is the very same woman who would do whatever it took to sabotage my previous attempts at weight loss over the years. She would go to the extremes of having cakes, candies, pizza's and other horrible nasty's delivered to me at school, work, home and other places within a week of me loosing 20 pounds. OR she would cook things she knew I loved and would gorge on.

Anyone seeing a pattern yet?

Now also keep in mind that my mother has never, ever had a weight issue and has always been a seriously skinny minny who is a mirror image of Ava Gardner.
My father on the other hand would bribe me with promises of designer wardrobes, Dior or whomever I chose if I would loose 50 pounds....

My husband made a very interesting observation about my mother last night.. He believes she is jealous that I will be smaller than her...

I am appalled at her behavior..

I spoke to my sister this morning who also brought up my mothers history of sabotage and warned me that I need to be prepared for my mom to show up with chocolates, cookies and ice cream... I told my sissy that I would walk my mom and her bag-o-crap into the kitchen and promptly toss it all into the disposal and give the crap a swirly in front of my mother... My sister thought that was great.
My sister told me that she never understood why our mother has done that to me over the years...
My sister asked me what I weigh and I told her + the size I am now in and she believes that I am fine and told me how proud she is of me which is something my sister has never said or told me...
My sister is about as or more appalled with our mother than I am...
 
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i understand what you mean i have a good support system now my family is behind me i'm on the hmrs till sunday and it has been a hard road these last 2 weeks from some one who would eat anytime of the day or night to drinking hmr's 5 times a day. every time i go to get some thing that i am not suppose to have they stop me and ask if i'm allowed that and i would say no then they would ask if i really want it. that i just got st stick it out for a few more days and my husband told me when i reach 300 i can go get some new clothes, (i told him it would be thirft store or yard sale)and he said fine but at christmas i would be getting alot more close and they wouoold be new. i love my family
 
i understand what you mean i have a good support system now my family is behind me i'm on the hmrs till sunday and it has been a hard road these last 2 weeks from some one who would eat anytime of the day or night to drinking hmr's 5 times a day. every time i go to get some thing that i am not suppose to have they stop me and ask if i'm allowed that and i would say no then they would ask if i really want it. that i just got st stick it out for a few more days and my husband told me when i reach 300 i can go get some new clothes, (i told him it would be thirft store or yard sale)and he said fine but at christmas i would be getting alot more close and they wouoold be new. i love my family

Honey you will hit the 2's before you know it, at the rate your going you will hit the 2' most likely by June 1st.. :)....

I am so proud of you..

As for clothing, I am loving the fact I can walk in the Jr's department and buy a pair of shorts off the rack.... I have found I can buy 2 outfits for under 25.00 these days. I remember when 1 outfit would cost me almost 60.00.

Just wait for the day you reach for a + size try it on and have to go to the smallest +size and it is baggy and to big so you have to dress and go to the regular sizes, that's when it will really hit you just how far you have come...

I am still in awe that I have dropped 2 shoe sizes, LOL.. Go figure
 
Stinkerbelle, I am sorry that you are having to deal with those family issues. Sounds like jealousy to me. Like maybe she feels like she is in competition with you and that you will take the "shine" off of her. You just keep doing what you are doing for you.

TillieS
 
Wow sorry you are dealing with that. The children should always be at the center of attention. She should be one of your biggest cheerleaders. I know my mom is. She was always worried about what I was doing to myself with all of the up and down with my weight. Diabetes, high blood pressure, cancer, and heart disease run in our family and when I would lose large amounts of weight she was always happy for me. She would always warn me of the dangers of gaining so much weight. I finally decided to get the help I needed from the bariatric docs and the nut. Then having surgery to have as a wonderful tool to aid in my weight loss. I hope she comes around for you. We love you and support you 100%.

TillieS
 
Wow sorry you are dealing with that. The children should always be at the center of attention. She should be one of your biggest cheerleaders. I know my mom is. She was always worried about what I was doing to myself with all of the up and down with my weight. Diabetes, high blood pressure, cancer, and heart disease run in our family and when I would lose large amounts of weight she was always happy for me. She would always warn me of the dangers of gaining so much weight. I finally decided to get the help I needed from the bariatric docs and the nut. Then having surgery to have as a wonderful tool to aid in my weight loss. I hope she comes around for you. We love you and support you 100%.

TillieS

My mother has been this way all of my life I doubt she will change.... I am blessed to have an awesome husband who has always and will always be my biggest cheerleader.

It took a dear friend (male friend who was opposed to my husband when my husband and I first met and started dating)(They are great friends now, LOL) to point out that my husband marrying me at my largest and sticking with me and cheering me on through all of these new changes and awesome journey proves that my husband loves me for me... It is amazing how meeting my biological mother last year on my 50th birthday (Thank you my dear husband who is my BFF and my BFF crystal) to help motivate me to reclaim my life...

And I have to thank everyone here for being so supportive of me, even when I have my itchy, bitchy and mean modes...
 
Sounds like u need to lean on ur sister and husband for support. Be proud of what u achieve. Only person u need to please is urself. Take care and God bless!
 
I'll bet you won't fall for the brownies at the front door trick again! Seriously, if you can understand it, you can deal with it. You got it.
 
Wow.

You would think Mom would be happy for you.

Jealousy maybe?

I don't think so, but then again what do I know. My wife is starting to say if I lose too much weight I will look old. Well, I am old at 70! I hope to get older!

I am doing great. I do have a back issue. I have made an appointment with the bone doctor. See him next week. I want an evaluation of my back and what I can do.

I am hunching over. I try to fight it with some stretches, but not doing enough.

But, you know you are doing OK. Listen to your supporters and get them to shut Mom up!

Ralph
 
I'm sorry you're having the issues with your mom as well. My mom is fabulously supportive, as is my husband who married me when I was heavier and still told me I was beautiful when I got to the heaviest! My mom's mom, however, was more like your mom. She was totally unsupportive and surprisingly, my mom was also adopted. My grandpa was a love, but he drank a lot....then again, if I were married to my grandma, I might drink a lot too! lol Although my grandmother passed when I was 7 years old, the way she put my mother down has lasted all of her life, so I want to be sure to give you "KUDOS" for not listening to garbage and for having the strength to do what you need to for yourself and your health. Those who love you and support you will appreciate all the extra years you're going to be around to spend with them!!
 
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