My name is Anthony & I live in southern California; I had gastric bypast surgery 10 years ago at 636lbs, I'm now 561lbs & I feel like a failure. I'm scared that I'm gonna die fat & before my time. I've thought about having the procedure redone, as many have expressed there have been improvements, but the fear of dying on the table haunts me. Not to mention, I'm also battling massive localized lymphedema & ostearthritis in both knees, which compromises my movement tremendously. I'm not bed ridden, thank God, but if something doesn't change soon I could be. I need some help, I need someone to talk me through. I became a new grandfather a few weeks ago & while holding my new grandchild in my arms yesterday I wondered if I'd be around to witness the mildstones grandparents look forward to. can anyone just please talk to me.
Introduction & cry for help
- Thread starter Mannup
- Start date
fkrebs
Member
Hi Anthony, you are not a failure. You're still having issues and your journey continues. I would recommend starting with the 5 Day Pouch Test. Next thing is to determine why you are doing this. You mention a Grandson, my 5 year old Grandson is my motivation. Once you have your "final straw" inspiration, get something that reminds you of it, I carry a picture of my Grandson with me. Whenever you feel like straying from the plan, pull out your reminder and use it to help you resist. I too want to be around for his milestones and so far he hasn't let me down. Also, I would say check with your doctor to see if you can have the procedure done again. At your current weight and age, you're risking dying at a much too early age. For me, I decided that I'd rather die trying to get healthy than do nothing and die too soon. Any time you want to talk, just IM me, I'm here to help. Don't give up on yourself or your Grandson.
Frank
Frank
Hi Anthony,
You know weight loss surgery has come a far piece since they first started doing it, and there may be some other options out there for you to pursue. Often they can place a lapband after RNY, not a bad operation. Also, my doctor says he can go in through the mouth with a scope and make your pouch smaller so you can start over without a major surgery. You are not a failure. Have you consulted with your surgeon to see what could be done in your situation? Going back to your original menu plan and starting over is an option as well. Find a good support group. There are a couple of other options like TOPS or even Weight Watchers where you get lots of personal support. Does your Center where you had surgery have a support group? My Center's support group invites anyone who has had WLS to attend and you might be able to find one of those support groups. Still, we welcome you to this Forum and we care about how you are doing. Please visit often and let us know how things are going for you. Good luck as you continue on your journey. Please don't allow yourself to continue feeling like you are a failure. You can do this, you have done it before.
You know weight loss surgery has come a far piece since they first started doing it, and there may be some other options out there for you to pursue. Often they can place a lapband after RNY, not a bad operation. Also, my doctor says he can go in through the mouth with a scope and make your pouch smaller so you can start over without a major surgery. You are not a failure. Have you consulted with your surgeon to see what could be done in your situation? Going back to your original menu plan and starting over is an option as well. Find a good support group. There are a couple of other options like TOPS or even Weight Watchers where you get lots of personal support. Does your Center where you had surgery have a support group? My Center's support group invites anyone who has had WLS to attend and you might be able to find one of those support groups. Still, we welcome you to this Forum and we care about how you are doing. Please visit often and let us know how things are going for you. Good luck as you continue on your journey. Please don't allow yourself to continue feeling like you are a failure. You can do this, you have done it before.
Dcepello
Member
Welcome Anthony,
The surgery is only a tool. The most important thing is having your priorities defined. Maybe what you need isn't more surgery but a change in your thinking. How you think about your problems is more important than anything else. Joining a group is a good start and talking it out is the first step. You also need medical help, talk to your doctor and nutritionist and come up with a plan. We are here as a sounding board but the ball is in your court. Death is a great motivator use it and you may cheat him just a little.
regards
The surgery is only a tool. The most important thing is having your priorities defined. Maybe what you need isn't more surgery but a change in your thinking. How you think about your problems is more important than anything else. Joining a group is a good start and talking it out is the first step. You also need medical help, talk to your doctor and nutritionist and come up with a plan. We are here as a sounding board but the ball is in your court. Death is a great motivator use it and you may cheat him just a little.
regards
Missirenee
Member
Anthony, you can do this! The others have given you good advice, but I want to add that you need to get in contact with your surgeon, or center, where you first had you surgery, or even find a new one. See what they have to say first. Then, start back with your basics...protein, veggies, lower carb. You can do this, because you have done it before. I wish you the best. We are all on the same journey, even though everyone makes their own path. God bless!
Kim M
Member
Hi Anthony, as you know this food addiction has nothing to do with food. I think it would help to go into counseling with somone who works with people who have eating disorders. I know in NY there are rehabs you can go to where you have supervision all the time. This can help prepare you for another possible surgery, or perhaps the jumpstart you need. You reached out that is the first step. Shaming yourself will not help, but only send you further into despair. I sincerely hope that you get the help that you need and continue to use this site to get additional support. Sending compassion and positive energy your way.
NoTurningBack
Member
Good Morning Anthony,
There is not much more I can say because you received excellent advice from the above 5 members. Please do no consider yourself as a failure...you took the step to have the surgery and lost 75 pounds!! You just veered off the road and need to get back on course. Please consult with the nutritionist at your Bariatric Center. If you don't have your original food plan, I can share what I have (I am 3 weeks post-surgery). Now more than ever your grandson has provided you with a purpose. I have an 8 year old grandson and a 5 year old granddaughter and they are the love of my life. I firmly believe in counseling and perhaps you can benefit by consulting one. Remember, "As you think, so you become". Think positive...you can do this. We are all here for you. Have a fantastic day, Nancy
There is not much more I can say because you received excellent advice from the above 5 members. Please do no consider yourself as a failure...you took the step to have the surgery and lost 75 pounds!! You just veered off the road and need to get back on course. Please consult with the nutritionist at your Bariatric Center. If you don't have your original food plan, I can share what I have (I am 3 weeks post-surgery). Now more than ever your grandson has provided you with a purpose. I have an 8 year old grandson and a 5 year old granddaughter and they are the love of my life. I firmly believe in counseling and perhaps you can benefit by consulting one. Remember, "As you think, so you become". Think positive...you can do this. We are all here for you. Have a fantastic day, Nancy
I am also 10 years out. I had my bypass on April 29, 2004. I, unlike alot of people had an excellent doctor and it worked wonders. I have had a good run but must still be very careful now or will put on weight. My advise would be to do it again if possible. After all my stuggles I always tell people I would do it again in a second. I would have died before now if I had not done it. I now have 8 grandchildren, my most recent 5 months ago.
ck9779
Member
Anthony,
We all have our issues but you have a HUGE new incentive besides doing this for you. You have that precious baby that doesn't want to be robbed of a relationship with you. While you are debating on if you are going to have it re-done there are upper body things that you can do to help.
We all have our issues but you have a HUGE new incentive besides doing this for you. You have that precious baby that doesn't want to be robbed of a relationship with you. While you are debating on if you are going to have it re-done there are upper body things that you can do to help.
hello anthony
and to think some people call this "an easy fix"!!!! grrrrrrr.... sounds like maybe you have stretched out you pouch too much so it allows you to eat too much food! no sugar and heavy carbs. you didn't say specifically which surgery you had ?try going back on liquid diet for a couple of weeks to see if that kick=starts your weight loss again. they might not have by-passed enough of your small intestines as most weight loss occurs due to malabsorption not restriction of stomach.
don't be afraid of another surgery,,, it will correct some things that maybe needs correcting. only your surgeon can tell/advise you for sure. absolutely no reason to feel guilty and/or ashamed in any way. follow that star!
i'm having my 3rd surgery if you count '73 reversal, my only regret is I should have had it done right after my stroke when I weighed 330... yooohoo!!i'm paralyzed and have one knee like yours, my good one of course I turn 68 in march, I have congestive heart failure,'m going for it again because I want to walk again. we all have our reasons. when you get down to ideal weight you can have 2 new knees! yaaaay
and to think some people call this "an easy fix"!!!! grrrrrrr.... sounds like maybe you have stretched out you pouch too much so it allows you to eat too much food! no sugar and heavy carbs. you didn't say specifically which surgery you had ?try going back on liquid diet for a couple of weeks to see if that kick=starts your weight loss again. they might not have by-passed enough of your small intestines as most weight loss occurs due to malabsorption not restriction of stomach.
don't be afraid of another surgery,,, it will correct some things that maybe needs correcting. only your surgeon can tell/advise you for sure. absolutely no reason to feel guilty and/or ashamed in any way. follow that star!
i'm having my 3rd surgery if you count '73 reversal, my only regret is I should have had it done right after my stroke when I weighed 330... yooohoo!!i'm paralyzed and have one knee like yours, my good one of course
I turn 68 in march, I have congestive heart failure,'m going for it again because I want to walk again. we all have our reasons. when you get down to ideal weight you can have 2 new knees! yaaaay