Keeping The Weight Off aka The Long Term Struggle

[RedefinedSelf12]

I have been struggling with how to answer this thread because I feel like I have fallen in a dark hole and can't get myself out. I really don't know what is wrong with me. I know better and get through most of the day fine but it all falls apart at night. It's like a whole other person emerges, the old me.

What everyone has been worried about is happening to me. I have regained 40+ pounds. At times I can take off some of it but it always seems it comes back so fast and then more. Today I am going back to basics. It's not like I don't know what I need to do but I can't seem to follow through. I haven't been in a good place mentally and it is taking its toll.

I have been hard on myself lately hoping that will get me back on track but it just backfires and then I start feeling like I can't do this. I need major inspiration and need to think positively. So much negative stuff at home and in the world doesn't help but I can't use it as an excuse as there will always be something.

I've been at the point of feeling like I'm in a dark hole and also cannot get myself out of it. I had my RNY on 2/19/20 and was doing great with keeping it off and maintaining. It's been a huge struggle since Oct 2021 due to life stresses that arose and am still battling. The regain has been happening for me since this time last year... How are you doing now? I'm worried I will never get out of the hole; and if I do that it'll be too late and I'll never feel as good as I did when I was at my healthier bottom weight.

 

[missyinacage]

Hi, redefined. You're not likely to get a response from Judy, as she hasn't posted in a long time. So, I hope I'll do lol

There are a LOT of people who struggle long term. I'm struggling with a smallish gain right now that I can't seem to drop. I'm currently hungry and I'm tired of thinking about food and choices every damned day. I'm tired of worrying about it, I worried less about my weight when I was fat. At least I knew I had already failed, so I didn't have to stress about screwing up my health and my whole new life!!

So, you are not alone in your struggle. You absolutely can lose the weight you've gained. We just have to find our motivation again and make it happen.

If it has been a while since you've seen your bariatric team, I'd suggest hitting them up. I know it can be embarrassing to go when you're feeling like you're not doing well, but they are there to HELP. Sometimes just that accountability and follow up work wonders.

You can also start an accountability thread on this site. I've been thinking of another monthly challenge type thread but .. Still tired lol

 

[Time4me123]

This is such a breath of fresh air!! Happy to have stumbled across someone else that’s plant- based!! What a relief it is!

Agreed 1000% do your comments about meditation and mindfulness. The Calm app has been a godsend for me. Now mind you, today is officially one week post off from my VSG- so I’m going thru those fun motions - but, seeing everyone here avo truly supports each other reassures me I’ve joined the absolute best forum. I’m so over the moon happy I finally opted in and had the procedure- even with the “losing pains” post op!

Thanks for your positive energy, plant fam! We got this!

Physically, I still feel wonderful, energetic and so very happy for making the decision I made. My quality of life has gotten exponentially better compared to pre-surgery. It definitely hasn't been without struggle, though. There is rarely a day that doesn't go by where at some point I think about "what if" I gain the weight back. Sometimes, I go through periods of time when I look at myself in the mirror and it feels as if I've gained it all back, although I haven't. Sometimes I see my old face in the mirror or think I'm regaining it all, even though I haven't.

As I close in on two years post-op, it's been a larger mental battle than the physical battle for me. I gained some weight back after hitting my nadir but have been steady and in a good place, and I'm still within the "average" body fat mass zone. That is where I intend to stay.

Stress and the temptation to emotionally eat has been the biggest battle for me. Between some pretty insane work stress and some personal stress, I've had to reach out often for professional support. One of the best things I've done recently was to start learning and doing some meditation, which has helped me a great deal.

My sleep hasn't been great since the surgery without some sort of sleep aid. I started some nighttime meditations and it's been borderline miraculous for me in that area. It's also reduced my stress, which I think has also helped me make good decisions more often than not.

Winter also takes a toll as my activity goes down quite a bit, but now that spring is here I'm doing a lot more outside work and walking/hiking. That also helps me feel a bit more balanced.

I don't drink enough water as I should. I know that also contributes to "false hunger" when I probably just need to get hydrated better.

I continue to be plant-based and love it, but I can certainly make bad plant-based choices if I let myself.

It is very easy to see that it wouldn't take too much to slide into a cycle of poor decisions. Speaking for myself, I know I will have to be extremely diligent for the rest of my life to ensure I stay where I want to stay. It's not easy.

 

[Time4me123]

Yayyy, and thank heaven for the Calm app!!

Wishing continued success and happiness!! I’m officially 7 days post op from my VSG!! Happy to see so many positive and supportive folks here!

Bless!

I don't know the exact reason. It may be more correlation than causation, but I know some people experience sleep issues after surgery. I can't say it was the cause, however. I work in Public Safety, so stress is fairly high in my profession, to begin with, and the last two years have had quite an impact on everyone (regardless of profession, obviously). For me, it manifested as very troublesome sleep patterns.

For stress eating, if I really need to have something, I still try to make as healthy of a choice as I can...veggies and such, but I'm also human and have a less than healthy treat. I have to make a very conscious and deliberate decision about my choices when I'm stressed, and sometimes that is difficult. I feel that I make more good decisions than bad ones, and my family is good about ensuring we don't have a bunch of junk in the house. Surrounding yourself with the best possible food makes it easier to stay on track. Once you start getting "special" foods back in the pantry for "special" occasions, that opens up the door to sliding backward. You can't rely on the restriction or small stomach...it's all about food choices.

For sleep and stress, I started using the "Calm" app on my phone, and for me, it's been a Godsend. I'm sure it doesn't work for everyone, but it's made a huge difference for me.

Ryan

 

[KristiLyn]

I see so many posts where people come in, struggling a year, 2, 5 and more, with maintaining the success they've had. And they immediately take off again. I feel this may be because the majority of our posts are pre op or first 6 months post op. I LOVE that we help the newbies succeed. But I'd like a spot for us "oldies" (sorry, guys!) to have a space to share our struggles without worrying about scaring off the beginners or being embarrassed that we're actually struggling or haven't been as successful as we had hoped.

I maintain my 5lb range and feel I have been overall successful. Still, I worry that I won't be able to long term. I struggle with late night snacks, less than ideal food choices and a love of iced coffee over water. I work waaay harder than I thought I would have to at maintenance and know many others struggle with it or even gaining. And so often our response is .. Do Better. Which fair, but also not kind, or supportive. So, if you're struggling long term, please share. It makes it easier to know I'm not the only one trying to force myself to suck down 64 oz of water instead of iced coffee and only succeeding about 80% of the time. And maybe those who show up with a weight gain 5 years out would feel comfortable enough to stay.

I know this is off topic but I'd like to know how you got your Ticker on your profile. I made a Ticker but don't know how to put it on here. Thank you!

 

[KristiLyn]

Thank you so much Karen, that means a lot to me. I really challenged myself yesterday and did quite well but got together with my brother in-law and a family friend for lunch today, so I just tried to do my best . Then we went to my granddaughter's track meet and froze for a couple of hours, but it was enjoyable. Snacked on some cheese and nuts and walked a bit during the track meet going around the different events. But I will remind myself that it doesn't mean the rest of the day I shouldn't be careful, so for dinner I had a protein shake and an apple.

As for foods that I shouldn't have in the house, it's hard when hubby wants certain things. Otherwise I wouldn't buy that stuff. I am at the point where I may have to tell him if he wants it he has to buy it, and put it somewhere out of my vision! But I think the real problem is getting firm with myself and don't eat anything after dinner.

I will be going back to my surgeon for my yearly check-in the beginning of July. I was looking at their website and noticed that they offer some other things besides surgery now, one of which is close monitoring with a nutritionist and seeing a behavioral health specialist. I think that is something I need so I will discuss with them at that time.

I won't/can't have trigger foods in my house. If I was an alcoholic I wouldn't have alcohol in the house. My husband knows he can go out and eat whatever he wants but it's not coming in this house.

 

[KristiLyn]

I totally understand what you mean. I've bit my tongue out of fear of scaring a newbie. But a while back I did web searches relating to success or regain and there were so many scary stories.

At first I was judgmental about regainers, but then it happened to me. It was just a few pounds and I went right back to the first phase of post-op eating and easily went back to normal.

The self-talk that always works for me is reminding myself what I went through, in addition to how I wanted to kill myself all the time when I was at my highest weight.

Its either going to work or it's not. The real key is you and what you want. And following the post-op food phases puts everything back in place. I had a doctor check me to see if still had a small pouch, and I do. So if I need to cut back, I can barely take two bites without feeling stuffed.

THE STOMACH CANNOT STRETCH from overeating. Do a web search, as I have. So you forever have the potential to stay at your post-op weight. This is so important. If you believe you can stretch your stomach, you are showing a lack of faith in the surgery. Your pouch is your tool. Let it work for you.

The hard part is self-talk. Practice affirmations every day. I'm almost 15 years out now, and even with the COVID 20 I gained, I knew it was temporary. I've almost taken it all off now.

Since I'm now facing the loss of looks because I'm over 70, controlling my weight and health is more important than anything. Thank God for my pouch!

I watched an episode of 600 Pound Life where the doctor took this woman back into surgery and she had stretched her stomach larger than it was preop.

 

[KristiLyn]

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I've been at the point of feeling like I'm in a dark hole and also cannot get myself out of it. I had my RNY on 2/19/20 and was doing great with keeping it off and maintaining. It's been a huge struggle since Oct 2021 due to life stresses that arose and am still battling. The regain has been happening for me since this time last year... How are you doing now? I'm worried I will never get out of the hole; and if I do that it'll be too late and I'll never feel as good as I did when I was at my healthier bottom weight.

I see from my own program and others across the internet to get back on track to back to full liquids first. You remember that sweet period when you didn't have to think about food, only liquids? It takes the panic out of your brain right away. Then come back up through the phases. Anytime you have to reset, go back to full liquids and reset.

 

[KristiLyn]

I got my food sensitivity results back...

Between that and learning I'm getting a pay cut it makes me wanna cry. Everything I eat is on the "no go" or "once every 4 days" list. I'm supposed to shift my eating and paying out of pocket for some services on a now reduced income. Grr

Aside from that...I have no clue what to eat because due to sensory issues my food choices are already very limited

I wish I had some words of wisdom for you except that there are soooo many different foods out there. Take the ones you know you aren't sensitive to and make up some small meals or recipes. In saying that, I am the worst person to actually do that. I'm three months PO BP and when my brain doesn't want to make a meal I just take a couple of things off the list and eat it. If I really don't want to put brain effort to it I have a well-made protein drink.

 

[dianeseattle]

I watched an episode of 600 Pound Life where the doctor took this woman back into surgery and she had stretched her stomach larger than it was preop.

I look for factual information from scientific resources, not television shows. I based my response on information from the Federal Government.

10 Things On 'My 600-lb Life' That Were So Fake (And 10 Real)

My 600-lb Life's goal is to chronicle the struggles that come with dealing with morbid obesity, but not everything on the show is real.

www.thethings.com

The other thing about that show is that you're not always seeing actual footage of bariatric surgery. I don't want to argue about it, but you can find information all over the internet about the real patient outcomes. This support group has a lot of real patients who've actually had the surgery and in 16 years I've found very little fake information. But all that matters is what's important to you, so I'll leave it there.

 

[KristiLyn]

I look for factual information from scientific resources, not television shows. I based my response on information from the Federal Government.

10 Things On 'My 600-lb Life' That Were So Fake (And 10 Real)

My 600-lb Life's goal is to chronicle the struggles that come with dealing with morbid obesity, but not everything on the show is real.

www.thethings.com

The other thing about that show is that you're not always seeing actual footage of bariatric surgery. I don't want to argue about it, but you can find information all over the internet about the real patient outcomes. This support group has a lot of real patients who've actually had the surgery and in 16 years I've found very little fake information. But all that matters is what's important to you, so I'll leave it there.

I appreciate people who respond frankly because the need to be consistently factual and close a conversation is important. Perhaps when you respond to me you can be a little more gentle. I'm not here to be taken to school, I'm here to support and be supported, have conversations without judgements and strike up friendly relationships.