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New- Mom of 3 young children starting the process for Gastric Bypass

L

lmiller

New Member
Hi there,

I am new to this group and just looking for some help on helping me feel more comfortable in making a decision. i started the gastric bypass program. I don't have a surgery date yet, but I am almost there. I have 3 young kids under the age of 7 and I am scared!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I 100% feel if I didn't have children I would have no problem moving forward, but there is that fear..of something happening. I have been so torn. I feel done.... i have been heavy since 6yrs old. Up and down with weight, but never able to maintain anything. Is it abnormal for me to go in this with these fears? I want this....but that fear of complications, the nightmare stories I have read, and stories of post op pain leaves me compeltely frightened.

I am looking for some folks to share with me their feelings prior to surgery and post op...how painful? like a c-section pain? will I be able to do things for my kids a month out? Anyone have this surgery with young children at the time? I am 37, weight 300lbs. I don't currently have any health issues, but as we know anything can change if i don't take control. But I am so torn because of my precious little ones.....i want to do this so I can do things with them and enjoy them...but what if by taking this risk, i end up losing them because of my loss of life.. maybe i am so pessimistic....i just get so nervous about elective surgery versus surgery that u have to have.... how do i know this is right?

any advice....appreciate it
 
lmiller said:
Hi there,

I am new to this group and just looking for some help on helping me feel more comfortable in making a decision. i started the gastric bypass program. I don't have a surgery date yet, but I am almost there. I have 3 young kids under the age of 7 and I am scared!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I 100% feel if I didn't have children I would have no problem moving forward, but there is that fear..of something happening. I have been so torn. I feel done.... i have been heavy since 6yrs old. Up and down with weight, but never able to maintain anything. Is it abnormal for me to go in this with these fears? I want this....but that fear of complications, the nightmare stories I have read, and stories of post op pain leaves me compeltely frightened.

I am looking for some folks to share with me their feelings prior to surgery and post op...how painful? like a c-section pain? will I be able to do things for my kids a month out? Anyone have this surgery with young children at the time? I am 37, weight 300lbs. I don't currently have any health issues, but as we know anything can change if i don't take control. But I am so torn because of my precious little ones.....i want to do this so I can do things with them and enjoy them...but what if by taking this risk, i end up losing them because of my loss of life.. maybe i am so pessimistic....i just get so nervous about elective surgery versus surgery that u have to have.... how do i know this is right?

any advice....appreciate it
Click to expand...


First of all, WELCOME to the Forum!!!

Most everyone who considers weight loss surgery is very scared yet very excited at the new possibilities of a better, healthier life. It normal and natural to have these fears.

I had been very over weight for many years and yoyo'd up and down the scales. I considered getting the bypass for 10 yrs before my cardiologist talked me into going for it. I had developed severe health issues and the weight loss surgery saved my life plus totally made me feel wonderful again. I was hesitant to get the surgery for the same reasons you are hesitant. I was afraid I would die. I have an autistic grandson who lives with me and he needs me. I had never had surgery before (except for tonsils when I was a kid) and I was really scared.

Bypass surgery turned out much easier than I had ever hoped. My pain was minimal. My stomach felt sore but the pain was not very bad at all. Pain medication in the hospital takes care of that and in a few days you don't even need it. My pain was kinda like my stomach felt bruised and sore.

I was 64 yrs old when I had the surgery, and you have youth on your side. Don't wait til you develop health issues that will make your bariatric surgery more dangerous. Don't miss out on all the things you can do with your kids as a normal sized person. When my kids were young we had seasons passes to Six Flags and the only thing I could ride with them was the train. I had a lot of lost years.

Be sure you get a top notch surgeon and hospital. You want a Bariatric Surgeon of Excellence and a Bariatric Hospital of Excellence. This will cut your surgery risks down to almost non existent. I picked a surgeon who had done over 2,000 bariatric surgeries and never lost a single patient. I could relax and know I was in good hands. Just do your homework on your surgeon. Follow his instructions to the letter. You will do great! You will get healthy and lose weight!

Good Luck!


Cheyenne:cool:
 
Hello, first off I want to welcome you to this forum. I am still pretty new to it myself but all the support is absolutely wonderful.

Now about you. Congratulations with you taking the first step. You wouldn't have done so if you really did not feel like you were ready. I understand you have 3 very young children, however, look at it like this. You will be eating healthier and with your new eating habits it will teach your children how to portion control, avoid caffeinated and sugar beverages, as well as being active. Plus, the healthier you get the more energized you will feel to keep up with your children's energy. So this will be a win win situation.

Secondly, you are so blessed that you do not have any medical issues. This alone is a huge bonus because this means you are healthy. Unlike me (and probably many others) we have a lot of medical problems and our doctors have to figure out the plan prior to surgery and watch us even more after surgery. I would not even second guess surgery especially if I had no problems.

Here is the way I look at it. I want to be a normal size, be able to ride a ride with my kids without everyone gawking at me, and if i ever need to take a bus ride, airplane ride or whatever it may be I do not want to get embarrassed because I am extra large. I want to be able to sit down and smile because I did it, I got healthy, healthy not just for me but for my family and now I am ready to live.

I believe you will be just fine. I commend you for taking the first step which I feel is the hardest in this entire process.

Let me know if you ever want to chat.

Debbie
 
Thank you Debbie for reaching out. Appreciate it. Everything you are saying is so right. I hit 300lbs this month. My highest I have been was 350lb. I know if I don't get this under control now, I will hit that again and quickly. I know I have to do it, but that fear of dying is so strong because of my 3 kiddos who are 3, 5, and 7. Everything sounds so right, but it is that damn risk. I am such a worrier and always will be. I want that better life for me and my family. So much on my mind. If I am going to do this, I want to do it right. I need to work on changing my thought process to be more optimistic.

I am very confident in my surgeon. He is one of the best from Boston. He was reccommended to me by many people, including my nurse practitioner who also had the sleeve done by him. I guess it feels like its moving a bit fast for me too because my insurance does not require a waiting period. I joined the program and all these appointments seem to be going so quickly. I have my upper GI and Endrocronolgist appt left to clear me for a date. And then I struggle on what date, what month, because summer is coming up...this time isn't good, this month isn't good. I am stressing myself out. As you can see I am writing all over the place.

I am 37, with an amazing husband, 3 beautiful kids, and I want to be with them...Healthy, run with them, I want to go into teachers/parent conference without feeling uncomfortable that her teacher is so tiny and thin as I overpower her in a chair... I don't want my kids to grow up with their peers associating them with the "fat mom", and I don't want that little girl in the playground to ask her mom why I am so fat!

We all know how painful being overweight is---so many painful memories and sadly for many of us/most--- other types of pain contributed to our obesity.

Thanks for reaching out. I really enjoy corresponding to people because ----unless you are going through it or have been really overweight, people don't truly understand. They really don't... as much as someone can be supportive, they don't understand that true pain unless you have been there and I am not talking 15lbs over weight.
 
One quick thought, which you probably already know, bariatric surgery is done now with laparoscopic surgery. It's so much safer, less invasive and much less painful than the bariatric surgery was just a few years back.

Good Luck,

Cheyenne
 
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