I was told not to gain more weight or else my insurance would not pay for the surgery, but since I'm on SSI, I can't always afford to eat healthy. I quit tortillas, breads, rice, carbonated drinks, biscuits and I eat more rotisserie chicken, tilapia, salads, shrimp...but only when I can afford it, otherwise i have to eat whatever I have like potatoes, pinto beans, eggs, sausage, bacon, the normal. I'm very limited on my income. This sometimes seems overwhelming for me, I can't exercise I need back surgery, both knees corrected and I feel at times like I gain weight rather than lose it because i dont have any physical activity. I don't want them to deny me because I really need this help. I'm a divorced 60 year old woman with limited income and Im hard on myself at times and I end up crying more than anything out of fear to be denied this help I desperately need.
When I had surgery in 2008, I was 55 years old and on SSDI, which paid out less than $900 a month. At that time I didn't get food stamps, although later, with the help of a social worker, I chose to apply and got about $100 a month-worth. I had knee surgery during that time and was carrying so much weight, I would have blown out my other knee if I didn't take off 100 pounds. I was also concerned about what I could afford to buy at the grocery store, but I figured it out eventually.
If you don't mind a little more advice, I'll say a few things. First, you need to stop "awfulizing" everything. You are focusing on the worst-case scenarios which only helps them to get stronger in your mind. Flip the script by studying affirmations and substituting a positive thought for every negative one. Eventually the positives will wipe out the negatives.
You can read some of my documents on my profile page where I studied nutritional values and affirming thoughts. It may help, but for sure, it can't hurt. You have great insights into the thoughts that sabotage your plans for success, so you can decide to fight against those thoughts by choosing an affirmation for every negative saboteur that enters your mind. I don't really understand how you could be denied if you gain weight between now and your surgical date. How much weight could you possibly gain? You really have to work at gaining weight, just as it takes work to lose it. But I think the best trick I learned to maintain my weight loss after surgery is to write down what you plan to eat, and write down what you actually eat, and measure out your necessary 64 ounces of water you'll drink every day. You'll have to eat in a healthy way after surgery, so now is a good time to start those habits now.
You can also incorporate some physical activity, even as simple as walking in place when you're watching tv, or doing pushups against a wall. Any amount of exertion is going to help. Don't beat yourself up. Just make a small effort. Keep track of it, too, by writing it down, and show that record to your medical providers and insurance agency, as needed, to prove that you're doing the best you can.
As I said, you are very aware of your obstacles, and that's great I have heard people moaning, "It doesn't matter what I eat, I just keep gaining weight," while they're chomping down on a cheeseburger. Just keep affirming the fact that YOU'RE IN CHARGE. Thinking doesn't add pounds; eating does. When you feel compelled to eat, stop and give yourself a chance to fight it by substituting a positive affirmation. And when your "fat brain" tries to argue against that, tell it to shut up and then launch a missile of positivity to destroy it.
Now, if you find yourself arguing with ME as you read my suggestions, ask yourself why you choose to do that instead of agreeing, or at least giving my suggestions a chance to work. Self-sabotage is strong and common among people who think they can't lose excess weight. YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE. Don't let toxic self-talk beat your own strength down.
Or you can just go on walking the path of depression and negativity that's been ruling your life. The choice is yours. But if you're realistic, you will realize a piece of bread or plate full of carbs can't overpower you, because you are much more powerful than food.
What do you have to lose?