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Should We not Question?

CarolElaine

CarolElaine

Member
I recently went to another pre-surgery appointment to meet with the nutrionist. What I found odd was that when I mentioned this website and some of the issues that others were having after the WLS; like gaining back the weight, problems post surgery, even real regret having had the surgery at all, that one or two have posted, she said to just ignore all that.

Isn't that just like burying your head in the sand? I for one, have always wanted to know all of the minute details. For me knowledge is power. If various results have occured it is better to know what may happen, than to be totally surprised when they do. I guess that adds to my worry. Now I am working on my new diet, struggling at times, but otherwise okay.

I have found reading the posts here to be really rewarding and profoundly helpful. Since I still have a long waiting period, no surgery until at the earliest in December, I am using this time to grow accustomed to the new regime I need to embrace.To make this tool the surgery will provide successful takes time. But ignoring other's issues is not wise, is it?
 
CarolElaine-I'm sure the nutritionist has your best interest in mind and probably has heard a lot about forums from other patients. Some forums offer good advice and some don't. I happen to think this forum is great and find most of the advice to be accurate. Afterall, there is a lot of crap information floating aroud the Internet as well as excellent information and each of us are responsible for knowing the difference. If I question something I see here I do research to find out the accuracy but will rarely, if ever, publicly question the post. Once someone has been around the block a few times, attends a seminar or 2, reviews the handouts and has had a consult with the surgeon and / or nutritionist they pretty much know what to expect. The rest is based on our personal experience after surgery.

I hope you continue to visit this forum and let any family members, co-workers or friends considering WLS know about it so they too can ask questions or offer advice to others.
 
CarolElaine, I think your attitude is good. You should look at the good and the bad. I went to a support group meeting this week and all the post ops were so happy and healthy and almost all said "I wish I had done this sooner"!!!! I started thinking maybe they were being paid to show up as cheerleaders. HA HA. That's my inner cynic coming out.
Seriously, what the nutritionist might have meant is that each person's experience is so unique that you shouldn't compare yourself to others.

this seems to be a day for random thoughts. I wonder if surgeons ever tell anyone they are not ready for WLS? I mean mentally and emotionally, not physically.
 
Thank you Karenina. I have a cynical spirit at times, but about something so very important like this. A surgery and a whole life attitude change, I would think you need to examine all the points of the issue. I know for a fact most people put a good deal of thought about what car they will buy; read reports, make comparions read reviews. Why wouldn't you do the same sort of thing in this issue?

Here you are not just purchasing a thing but physically changing yourself, forever. That to me is huge. That, to me, requires careful thought and consideration. I would think if that is not done then there would be the possibility of real regret or worse.

Those thoughts are what draw me here to this forum. to read all of the thoughts and real experiences that folks are going through. It helps me gain perspective. I must admit I am on board with the plan for the WLS, but there is niggling feeling that I might be making the wrong decision. I hope with time I will gain more confidence.
 
I think your willingness to view the issue from all angles will make you that much more certain about whether it will be right for you. If we were to ignore the fact that everyone will have their own personal challenges and circumstances, we might miss something truly helpful that someone can bring by sharing their own experience (whether good or bad). None of us truly knows exactly how our own bodies will deal with this. All we know is that we want to learn what we should be doing and try our best to follow through.
 
Some bariatric surgeons do indeed tell some patients they are not ready for WLS. That is the reason for the surgical consult and psyc evaluation. And anyone who is considering WLS who has doubts whether or not the surgery is the right decision should NOT have the surgery until they are 100% sure. Not all WLS is permanent, gastric bypass (RNY) is reversible :) :) :)
 
I mentioned it to my surgeon the this online support group and he said "just be careful what you hear and read on there, it not always the truth" I was mildy shocked and somewhat put out, but I know he had his own support group in mind that he supports and directs. I think he just likes us to attend his and only listen to him, which I do trust him, but I still like to here others input and comments. I have my own mind about things too.
 
GCOOPER-I think your surgeon gave you good advice about being careful. In my experience I have found most of the information on this forum to be accurate. Occasionally there will be something that doesn't seem quite right so I do additional research. Any blog or forum can have "trolls" join whose sole purpose is to cause or instigate problems and post incorrect or conflicting information. I have never seen this happen here but it could. Although this forum is great and so far an excellent source of information I still use caution if I decide to use a product that someone recommends by calling the office and asking my nuritionist if it is safe for me.
 
I found out some things too about wls which has made me so nervous. Same things as you ClarolElaine. Gaining back the weight is scaring me the most!! It almost has me not wanting to do it. I mean, If I can gain it back after surgery, what's the difference of just dieting and gaining it back? BUT, now knowing that I can gain it back has made me think about that and keep it in my mind always. That is the primary reason I sought out this forum.
 
GCooper, If you'll notice on the home page of this website it says "716 spammers denied registration". They probably mean spam in the traditional sense, but it got me to thinking that anyone could sign up and say anything. It would be hard to tell if someone wasn't for real.
 
Wow. A few issues to address on here (hey Pat! sorry, I've been so busy lately, just doing a drive-by before I disappear again)....

I don't remember names easily and I don't want to keep scrolling up, so I'll just make some comments knowing you will know it's meant for your particular comment..LOL..if that makes sense.

1. If your nutritionist or even surgeon has never had the surgery themselves, then he/she has no clue what those of us who have had it are going through. Don't care what they say...all they know is text book and listening to those "experts" and those of us who have had it...so take what they say with a respectful grain of salt when it comes to post-op life.

2. Listen to your nuritritionist. He/she is specialized in gastric bypass and knows what the overall basics are for healthy living following surgery.

3. Question, question, question... this is your life that is being played with, don't put it in someone else's control. If you want to know details, you have a right to get the answers. Ask, ask, ask. If anyone is elusive or doesn't want to give you info..there are other surgeons, etc that WILL answer them. Keep that in mind.

4. If your surgeon says you are not ready, then you are not ready. Not being ready... not being prepared... or willing to make the necessary changes in your lifestyle is probably the number one reason patients gain the weight back.

5. Gaining the weight back is YOUR choice. Just don't do it. Follow the guidelines, DON'T CHEAT. You cheat, and you will get ill...you will feel like crap..you will become depressed, and you will regret your decisions.

6. No one...NO ONE... can tell you which support group will help you the most. If you don't want to go to your surgeons....well.. find another one. Why anyone would say, don't go online to find one just blows my mind. No one here is trying to sell you anything...we are just people, all over the world, going through the same issue. You do the group(s) YOU want to do. You do the ones that help YOU. Pffft to those that say one is better than the other. Especially if they've never had the surgery. And yes, you can tell your surgeon I said that. Be happy to educate anyone on this topic!!!!

7. Gaining back the weight...again..same topic... ignore what other people have done. You are not other people. You are you. You make your choices, your decisions... you decide what you put in your mouth, not Mary in NYC, not Joe in Tennessee...not Letrell in Oregon... it is YOUR decision.

8. Everyone gets scared. EVERYONE. If you don't, you are not normal and should not have the surgery.

9. WLS is not a fix. It is a tool. Use it. Don't abuse it. Don't expect to wake up 2 days later and be down 100 lbs. Aint happening. But if you get out there, cry when you need to, eat only what and when you are allowed (it's really not that difficult to follow), you too will find your inner self....

10. My number 10 but number ONE comment really is...DON'T FEEL SORRY FOR YOURSELF. Don't wallow in and get caught up in whining. That will only hurt you. And if you need a quick kick in the behind...just come on here and say... "Why did I do this? It's so haaaaaard." Cuz I am not a sweet-talker. I have grown to truly care for people on here...I feel very protective of everyone and will stand by you when needed, will offer encouragement, and let you know that in my online, gastric bypass way, I love you all....and know this well...I will give you an online kick in the tushy hard and fast if you whine. There is no whining in WLS. (Just tons of tears..which are acceptable...LOL)

Love to you all!

Hang in there...move forward, and, Darlins....remember the old Nike saying... JUST DO IT!

Life is GREAT

Letrell
 
Melissa, that's why I, for one, intend to always remember that WLS provides you a "tool" that can be very effective in turning your life around, but it isn't magic or an easy fix. Anyone considering making such a drastic change to their body and their lifestyle MUST understand that it is possible to gain the weight back...but if you are vigilant about taking good care of yourself, you will have made a remarkable change for the better. I certainly don't mind the thought that I won't be able to eat such large portions again - that's what got us in trouble in the first place - I know I don't want to go back there, so I'll be very careful.
 
CarolElaine,
I can relate to you quite a bit. I need to know everything about this. This is my last month of my 6 month pre op requirements, and I've learned so much and I'm putting into practice now, how I will have to be after my surgery. One thing I learned that truly led me here, was that with the gastric sleeve, is that you can gain the weight back. That has me totally freaked out!! I'm scared to death, and I almost decided not to do this b/c of that, but seeking out advice is helping. I'm still nervous about that, but the more I am learning, the more confidence I am gaining in order to go thru with the surgery and not worrying about gaining the weight back, but to focus on the lifestyle change!
Good luck to you
 
Hi All, this is a really good thread with lots of concernes but Pat and Lettrel have very good points and their comments and advice are solid:D. The WLS is a tool and not a quick fix so if you believe that this time you can do it with a simple change of diet, then please by all means try it again, because it is a life changing surgery and you don't want to jump into it unless you have tried everthing else, but my guess is that you have already tried the new diet and it did work for a while then all the weight came back with a couple extra pounds.

The WLS surgery is not a diet plan it is a complete lifestyle change be it the Sleeve or RnY, I like to look at it as modifying my meal plan to sensable portions and healthy choices, before surgery most of my choices were healthy but my portions were out of hand, with the WLS the change in meal planning should come quite easily because we are forced to be full really quickly by trhe size of our pouch or sleeve and for the first year, at least for myself, hunger and the thought of eating does not appeal to us, I had to remind myself to eat. From that point it is just a matter of retraining our brain and getting ourselves on the meal plan that works best for our lifestyle, my meal plan is 5 to 6 small meals a doy some like to call it breakfast, lunch and dinner with a snack in between all of them but since all my meals can be interchangable and I can switch it all up I call it 5 to 6 meals a day plan, but whatever works best for you.

The key is the further out from surgery you get the more you need to remind yourself on the choices you make like empty carbs here and there, if you eat them you must be willing to do and extra work out to burn off those extra calories. So in closing it is ok to be concerned about gaining the weight back and you must do an honest search of your past dieting practices to see if you have tried multiple diets and most of all are you relly ready to change the way you look at food if you can do that then you will know if you should or shouldn't. Just don't let fear rule your decision. Great discussion. :cool: Tom
 
Tom,
That was an awesome post! Thanks so much! It really is helping me. I am so petrified of gaining my weight back down the road. YOu have given me a lot to think about. My 6th visit is this Friday before the insurance gives the approval for my surgery. Thanks for the advice
Melissa
 
Carol Elaine...interesting as my surgeon and nurses encouraged me to join and look for support groups...and even mentioned this one. Of course, everyone is different...that all depends on you and how much you want to succeed. I've read some stories on here where I just want to pull my hair! Some people upset/depressed because they are not loosing, then go on to say they are not excercising and some even how they learned to cheat and eat surgar and candies! So it is all up to you! The Surgery is a tool. You need to have your head in it. Myself, I had started the process at UCLA about 3 years ago...I did not feel comfortable and quit the program. I wasn't ready and I wasn't comfortable with my physician and team. I found the perfect fit at Torrance Memorial and I am now 17 days post op. I too expected more pain, etc., due to the stories I read...but honestly, I expereinced none! I have had a great experience so far and am very happy I did it and found the team that worked and made me comfortable. We all need the support and help from others, thats why we have "coaches" too...I don't understand why they would tell you not to believe the support groups. I know my experience is different than others, but it still helps me to read your stories...as your surgeon, you also need to find the right fit in your support.

Good Luck!
Jules
 
Well I must admit I am really glad I brought this topic up. It has been on my mind for awhile. I for one have always been leary of products or sevices that don't allow room for possible problems. It seemed to me that was happening in my nutritionist consult. Of course in any diet scenario the possibilty of cheating, failure or other is possible. I was caught short when it was presented in such a way to not even think about the possibilty of failure.

I appreciate how much all of you that have commented are also aware of the importance of discussing all aspects of this life changing event. Yes I realize that the some of the surgeries can be reversed but certainly that is not part of the original plan going in? Going forward with the WLS as a life event is to commit yourself to changing your view of how you eat, exercise your body and use that tool created just for you. Failure to do any part of that seems to me where the problems, like regaining the weight, start to come into play.

For me I was scared stiff about giant loose folds of skin and losing my hair. But with research and talking with others in this forum you find out all these issues also have levels that differ case by case and ways of coping if they do occur. I know I have read many times that if you aren't scared of some part of this process then you just aren't normal. Working it all out is the tough part. For me I am glad I have a long period (six months) before the surgery so I can get my life organized in a better and healthier mode. If I can't do that now, then perhaps the surgery won't be right for me. Isn't it best to find that out before hand?

I know I have stated this before, but I have so much to be grateful for and one is indeed this forum. So much information, experiences, thoughts and feelings are absolutely a treasure. Thank you all who have responded in this thread. More helpful than you know.
 
CarolElaine, I learned something interesting about excess skin from my surgeon. He said there was no way of predicting beforehand if a person will have a lot of excess skin after losing a lot of weight. It doesn't have anything to do with age, weight, how fast/slow you lose, or how much you exercise. Like a lot of things, the elasticity of our skin has to do with genetic make up!
 
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