Qaterra
Member
. . . . . continued . . . . .
14 months:
I wish I’d known:
1. that smells are so much stronger now and can make you ill
2. that skin is not always so elastic when it's going down as it was going up in weight
3. that your relationships change so much because you change, not just physically but emotionally. You have to deal with the issues you stuffed down your mouth, so the rawness of that can be hard to swallow
4. people don't always think you look good
5. some people like you better fat and don't know how to deal with you skinny
6. you really could lose your life and surgery is a huge step! I was so lucky my doc was a good one and fixed me up quick
7. How eating is a chore sometimes and you won't be hungry for food some days
8. people will think you are sick "all" the time even if it only happened 4 times in 9 months
9. that you won't see the changes as fast as some other people see them so you can get discouraged when you haven't lost as much weight as so n so
10. that the people who were attracted to you when you were fat, may not be attracted to you skinny
11. people who wouldn't look at you before, now have an interest in you
12. family can ignore your accomplishments because they are jealous or resent you took a chance on your life
13. that it would give me back my life such as playing, running, jumping, stretching, walking, etc...
14. fitting into clothes you haven't ever dreamed you would is such a HIGH!!
15. that WLS can be lonely if you don't have support
18 months:
I wish I had trusted my fellow gbs friends when they said "Don't buy too many clothes...you will shrink out of them" I never believed I would ever be the size I am today.
I was at 185, but I let a remark throw me off. Someone said " Oh God, your cheeks are all sunk in, you look terrible".
So I purposely gained 35 lbs. regretting it now. I am dieting again to get back to 185. That is where I have no gut, naturally.
Other wise, I lost 175 lbs...So, don't let a remark get to you.
20 months:
Know that though Moderation is the long term goal for post op life... using 'living life with moderation' as an excuse to go off the post op plan before maintenance is unwise... active weight loss stops, and sometimes you cannot control how early it will stop or how much (or how little!) you will lose so it's wise to take that very short time (in the grand scheme of things) to stick as closely to your doctors plan as possible.. work that honeymoon phase and work it hard.. the more you lose towards your goal in that active weight loss plan the better.
Take it from one whose weight loss stopped at 9 months and doctor after doctor has informed me that this is it, even though I still measure and log my food at nearly three years out and even though I work out a minimum of 10 hours a week at the gym.. and these aren't pansy workouts at a leisurely pace either.. random people come up to me and tell me how inspirational I am to them because they see how hard I work.. 'energizer bunny' at the gym is one label I'm proud to wear for sure.. 20 year olds have told me they feel intimidated because they can't keep up with me. And I'm still 'done'. And I am still classified as "Obese" on the BMI chart.
I don't want any of you to end up like me. Though some days it messes with my head.. a LOT.. to see people years later, have surgery and then pass me by on the weight stats.. but it is still gratifying to me for the most part... if it wasn't, I wouldn't bother talking about the problem some of us have. And yeah, not all of us have this issue but you won't know till you're there, you know? :/
Two years:
I wish I’d known that it would become a daily struggle for me to keep on track. I was told it gets harder and I have to work at it every day. The good thing is this tool works and forces me to eat well in order to feel good.
I wish I knew how badly I would hate the sagging skin. I thought I would be ok with it and it would be better than having all of the extra weight, but it really became and still is an issue with me. The thing I can not tolerate the most is my calves...all of those who know me know that I am so called teeny tiny, but my calves are huge. I have to roll them up in my pants...literally. When I wear shorts, and my legs are relaxed, I have calf wings...seriously. I am not exaggerating. the nurse at my pcp told me yesterday that she can't believe how big they are in proportion to my body. I was laying on the table and my calves were flopped there skin laying there....looked like slabs of meat with the skin hanging off. At least she was honest with me. She told me my tummy and chest look great…I think because she felt bad after she talked about my legs. No worries...I know they are gross. Anyway, skin is a big thing with me and I just wish I knew that I was going to need help with it...mental help that is. I don't regret surgery though...not for a minute.
Three Years:
I wish I had known how great life really is after you reached the various goals...then perhaps I wouldn't have struggled so much over the journey Then again, it's hard to appreciate what you have if you didn't struggle for it.
I wish I would have known just after losing my first 50 pounds my ankles would stop giving out on me!
I wish I would have known how many friends I would have lost.
I wish I would have known the hardest thing to deal with was how much my face and facial features changed!
Four Years:
The reasons why I believe depression came on about a year after surgery, the first year is so exciting and challenging I dont think you think about much... until all the loss and changing comes to a slow roll.......... Why I got depressed!
I think it is because of so many life hurts, and turning to "comfort foods" and putting up the wall of fat around me to protect me for several years. Now that the weight is gone, and my eating habits have changed where I dont turn to food to soothe my feelings and emotions have been left stranded. I know I am a codependant person, and the idea of turning to drugs and alcohol has been a teetering source of comfort that alarms me. So I stop doing that, now what? How do I deal? In comes depression because I feel lost, hopeless, scared, develop anxiety, lose friends and feel abondoned, you are constantly criticized by family, friends, neighbors about how SICK you look... what is someone to do who at one time was invisible to the stares and comments? Someone who wasnt a threat to the people around you? These are some of the experiences which I feel led me to fall into depression. It is because of my experience I strongly urge people to stick with a therapist for 2 years after surgery, on at least a monthly basis just to "check in" emotionally.
Five Years:
I wish I had known I would love the person I would become, and that I had worth. It would have saved a lot of tears, if I had known that. The tears, though, are part of the reason I became this person. Without being fat, and without GBS as a catalyst for the implosion of my entire life post-op, I would not have as much respect for the person I have become.
I wish I had known that GBS wasn't bulletproof much earlier on in the process. I certainly heard the words, but I didn't listen to them, because I just knew I would be the one who didn't try sugar, and I just knew I was the one who was capable of only eating the calories I needed after the surgery was over. My own humanity came as a distinct shock.
I wish I had known the depression that I went through at about two years post-op wasn't because of the surgery, but because the surgery didn't fix my life. I still had the same life, I just could no longer tolerate the fact that it didn't all change along with my body. As a result, I tried a number of drugs for depression, and in hindsight, it was to medicate myself into staying in that life that I had outgrown while I was shrinking.
14 months:
I wish I’d known:
1. that smells are so much stronger now and can make you ill
2. that skin is not always so elastic when it's going down as it was going up in weight
3. that your relationships change so much because you change, not just physically but emotionally. You have to deal with the issues you stuffed down your mouth, so the rawness of that can be hard to swallow
4. people don't always think you look good
5. some people like you better fat and don't know how to deal with you skinny
6. you really could lose your life and surgery is a huge step! I was so lucky my doc was a good one and fixed me up quick
7. How eating is a chore sometimes and you won't be hungry for food some days
8. people will think you are sick "all" the time even if it only happened 4 times in 9 months
9. that you won't see the changes as fast as some other people see them so you can get discouraged when you haven't lost as much weight as so n so
10. that the people who were attracted to you when you were fat, may not be attracted to you skinny
11. people who wouldn't look at you before, now have an interest in you
12. family can ignore your accomplishments because they are jealous or resent you took a chance on your life
13. that it would give me back my life such as playing, running, jumping, stretching, walking, etc...
14. fitting into clothes you haven't ever dreamed you would is such a HIGH!!
15. that WLS can be lonely if you don't have support
18 months:
I wish I had trusted my fellow gbs friends when they said "Don't buy too many clothes...you will shrink out of them" I never believed I would ever be the size I am today.
I was at 185, but I let a remark throw me off. Someone said " Oh God, your cheeks are all sunk in, you look terrible".
So I purposely gained 35 lbs. regretting it now. I am dieting again to get back to 185. That is where I have no gut, naturally.
Other wise, I lost 175 lbs...So, don't let a remark get to you.
20 months:
Know that though Moderation is the long term goal for post op life... using 'living life with moderation' as an excuse to go off the post op plan before maintenance is unwise... active weight loss stops, and sometimes you cannot control how early it will stop or how much (or how little!) you will lose so it's wise to take that very short time (in the grand scheme of things) to stick as closely to your doctors plan as possible.. work that honeymoon phase and work it hard.. the more you lose towards your goal in that active weight loss plan the better.
Take it from one whose weight loss stopped at 9 months and doctor after doctor has informed me that this is it, even though I still measure and log my food at nearly three years out and even though I work out a minimum of 10 hours a week at the gym.. and these aren't pansy workouts at a leisurely pace either.. random people come up to me and tell me how inspirational I am to them because they see how hard I work.. 'energizer bunny' at the gym is one label I'm proud to wear for sure.. 20 year olds have told me they feel intimidated because they can't keep up with me. And I'm still 'done'. And I am still classified as "Obese" on the BMI chart.
I don't want any of you to end up like me. Though some days it messes with my head.. a LOT.. to see people years later, have surgery and then pass me by on the weight stats.. but it is still gratifying to me for the most part... if it wasn't, I wouldn't bother talking about the problem some of us have. And yeah, not all of us have this issue but you won't know till you're there, you know? :/
Two years:
I wish I’d known that it would become a daily struggle for me to keep on track. I was told it gets harder and I have to work at it every day. The good thing is this tool works and forces me to eat well in order to feel good.
I wish I knew how badly I would hate the sagging skin. I thought I would be ok with it and it would be better than having all of the extra weight, but it really became and still is an issue with me. The thing I can not tolerate the most is my calves...all of those who know me know that I am so called teeny tiny, but my calves are huge. I have to roll them up in my pants...literally. When I wear shorts, and my legs are relaxed, I have calf wings...seriously. I am not exaggerating. the nurse at my pcp told me yesterday that she can't believe how big they are in proportion to my body. I was laying on the table and my calves were flopped there skin laying there....looked like slabs of meat with the skin hanging off. At least she was honest with me. She told me my tummy and chest look great…I think because she felt bad after she talked about my legs. No worries...I know they are gross. Anyway, skin is a big thing with me and I just wish I knew that I was going to need help with it...mental help that is. I don't regret surgery though...not for a minute.
Three Years:
I wish I had known how great life really is after you reached the various goals...then perhaps I wouldn't have struggled so much over the journey Then again, it's hard to appreciate what you have if you didn't struggle for it.
I wish I would have known just after losing my first 50 pounds my ankles would stop giving out on me!
I wish I would have known how many friends I would have lost.
I wish I would have known the hardest thing to deal with was how much my face and facial features changed!
Four Years:
The reasons why I believe depression came on about a year after surgery, the first year is so exciting and challenging I dont think you think about much... until all the loss and changing comes to a slow roll.......... Why I got depressed!
I think it is because of so many life hurts, and turning to "comfort foods" and putting up the wall of fat around me to protect me for several years. Now that the weight is gone, and my eating habits have changed where I dont turn to food to soothe my feelings and emotions have been left stranded. I know I am a codependant person, and the idea of turning to drugs and alcohol has been a teetering source of comfort that alarms me. So I stop doing that, now what? How do I deal? In comes depression because I feel lost, hopeless, scared, develop anxiety, lose friends and feel abondoned, you are constantly criticized by family, friends, neighbors about how SICK you look... what is someone to do who at one time was invisible to the stares and comments? Someone who wasnt a threat to the people around you? These are some of the experiences which I feel led me to fall into depression. It is because of my experience I strongly urge people to stick with a therapist for 2 years after surgery, on at least a monthly basis just to "check in" emotionally.
Five Years:
I wish I had known I would love the person I would become, and that I had worth. It would have saved a lot of tears, if I had known that. The tears, though, are part of the reason I became this person. Without being fat, and without GBS as a catalyst for the implosion of my entire life post-op, I would not have as much respect for the person I have become.
I wish I had known that GBS wasn't bulletproof much earlier on in the process. I certainly heard the words, but I didn't listen to them, because I just knew I would be the one who didn't try sugar, and I just knew I was the one who was capable of only eating the calories I needed after the surgery was over. My own humanity came as a distinct shock.
I wish I had known the depression that I went through at about two years post-op wasn't because of the surgery, but because the surgery didn't fix my life. I still had the same life, I just could no longer tolerate the fact that it didn't all change along with my body. As a result, I tried a number of drugs for depression, and in hindsight, it was to medicate myself into staying in that life that I had outgrown while I was shrinking.
