Ashamed :(

[txmomof3]

I have to say i don't know what is wrong with me. I have spent a lot of time, money and energy in the last year to get this surgery. I had my surgery on March 15. I have been back at work & school since the 29th and it has been crazy non stop 12 hour days at work, then trying to get my own homework done, kids ballgames, housework etc. No different than any other parent. I had posted a little while back about being frustrated about a stall in weight loss. That is still happening. I am eating about 500 calories a day and usually right under my water mark. I have not lost anything in the last 10 days according to my app/and scales. I know you guys said to stop weighing daily, but I seem to be obsessed with checking which I know is a problem. Yes - I have an appointment later this week with my counselor . This checking obsession has gotten worse since my surgery. Today has been more stressful than normal with some issues with the hubby which is another reason for the appointment with the counselor.... I don't see many talking about having marital issues after their surgeries. But mine seems to have created some serious resentment and arguments the last few weeks. All of this info to say what I am most ashamed of -- I really messed up today and went totally off what I was supposed to eat and ate a candy bar. I am so ashamed - what is the point of having gone through all this work, effort and being cut up to just stupidly do the same things all over again?????

 

[3momchaos]

Marital issues is actually a big thing that can happen after surgery. My husband and I definitely haven’t been as intimate since my surgery, my energy levels are not great which is something he wasn’t expecting, but when I explain these things to him he understands. My husband was always very supportive of my choice to have surgery, but sometimes after there is a change, a resentment or difference in attraction can happen. This hasn’t happened with us, but it hasn’t been a dream. With all things that come with marriage, there are ups, downs, things that can be worked through, and things that cannot be. I will say it was harder in the beginning when I was relying on him and my children for all the cooking and housework.
A candy bar is not going to derail you. I’ve had my fair share of indulgences. The thing about when I have them now is I don’t justify them. I don’t deserve them, I just wanted them and I move on. It does not define me.

 

[Aface]

You got this.. listen, it happens to everyone. Look on the bright side, You only had one candy bar and not four. I would suggest eating more calories and in those calories using it for more protein. Don’t beat yourself up. Are you walking? If not, I would suggest it even if it’s 15 minutes it can help with losing weight and mentally

 

[JudyNY]

Days like that are going to happen but we have to give ourselves some grace and move on. I do suggest you start upping your calories a bit with healthy choices. Eating heathier foods will help you be satisfied longer. If we feel like we are depriving ourselves that can lead to reaching for unhealthy foods and/or binge eating. Concentrate on drinking more water, it really can help make that scale move. And speaking of the scale, try to pick a day of the week to weigh yourself. My favorite is "weigh-in Wednesday" as it is easy to remember and I know not to get on the scale any other day. Good to know you will be seeing a counselor this week and I hope it helps. You've got this and we are cheering you on!

 

[missyinacage]

This surgery has a HUGE impact on pretty much all areas of your life and is especially hard in the beginning. You're trying to figure out what to eat and when. Working long hours only makes that harder. Emotions are high for you and for your friends and family. At least some of those emotions are going to be negative. Big changes, good or bad, cause big stress. Many of us dealt with stress by overeating. It's literally called stress eating. And comfort food. I think seeing your counselor is a great idea. They can give you specific tips to deal with the stress and obsession with the scale. Until then: Rome wasn't built in a day and no one ever got fat due to ONE candy bar. Acknowledge the mistake and build better tomorrow. Good luck.

 

[WazzuCoug]

I know it isn't easy to you when you have so many things going on, but try not to be so hard on yourself. Forgive yourself for eating the candy bar, it's not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. You made a good decisions with the surgery, plan to move forward from here and make good choices with food. There will be many challenges, and other times you eat something you won't be proud of. It's okay if you acknowledge it, forgive yourself and make an effort to stay on track. It's obviously a slippery slope to have something that might be a trigger food, but don't let it derail you. Allow yourself some personal grace and mercy.

Stress is a metabolism and fat burning killer. Combine that with very low calories and all the changes your body has gone through, I suspect your body is in something similar to a survival mode where it just isn't letting go of energy stores. You are making a good choice to seek some counselling and talk through it.

I don't think marital stress is too unusual for post surgery couples, so you aren't alone. As much as possible, focus on sticking with the recommended program and food and hydration to give your body as much proper fuel as possible while you are going through this difficult time.