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Help! 19 years post-op and gained so much weight!

I know you are struggling, but you aren't a failure. You maintained a lot of weight loss for a long time, and that is incredible. You've got the strength and fortitude to do it, but you've been through some things that pushed you in an unhealthy direction. There isn't anyone on earth who isn't susceptible to those life experiences.

I can only share info based on what I've read since I'm not quite a year out from surgery. However, the key is going to be food, period. Your smaller stomach really isn't going to be the key to success for you, as you've seen, it is certainly possible to gain weight with a smaller stomach.

You'll want to take it slow. Rapid weight loss will only slow your metabolism and increase hunger. You've probably built up some resistance to hunger and satiation signals, so you are going to need to really be conscious not only of what you eat, but the volume. Don't make drastic changes all at once like going on a fad diet or adding in a ton of exercise. Those things almost always backfire.

I would recommend not focusing on how many calories you are eating, per se, but make changes in food choices little by little. Obviously you know the beer isn't helping with it's extra calories, so eliminating that would be a good thing. If you feel you've got any issues with addiction, you should reach out for some professional support in that area.

You don't have to do this right away, but over time eliminate foods with added sugar, artificial sweeteners, and highly processed foods (try to avoid anything with 10 or more ingredients). Choose lean protein and eat a wide variety of plants (not just "veggies" but herbs, nuts, seeds, fungus, etc...anything that grows).

If you like to cook but don't plan meals well, consider doing something like Hello Fresh or some other meal delivery service and choose the healthiest options. Explore vegetarian dishes and other things you wouldn't normally make for yourself that aren't high in simple carbs and fat. If you don't like to cook, look for fresh pre-made meals and not frozen processes stuff.

No matter what stage of the game you are, this battle is won or lost in the kitchen and in our minds. Both of those things have to be on point. But I'll stress again not to tackle everything all at once. Don't lose weight too fast or it will completely backfire. You don't have the hormonal benefits of the surgery any longer, so your weight loss is now entirely on your choices around food and mental health.

If you are snacking on things, stop bringing them into the house. Look for healthier options to snack, like raw veggies and hummus (or whatever) that you can use as a healthy "trigger" food to turn to. If you are hungry turn to that and fill up with that instead of chips or whatever. Slowly make changes to your choices.

You have exhibited strength before, so you have it in you. Be slow and deliberate.
Hi Ryan! I may print this out and hang it on my fridge. Thanx a bunch for all your wise words. I am taking them all to heart and thanx for the kindness.
 
I wanted to urge people to check nutritional information of foods that may be low in calories but high in carbs. Carrots are one of the worst offenders in this regard.
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When you think of carrots, it might be helpful to think simultaneously about potatoes. They are similar in the sense that they're both root vegetables, and that's a category, in general, that's low in protein and high in carbs. Think about how starchy they are. Peas are also similar in this regard, though they appear above ground.

Celery and lettuce are highly cellular and hold a lot of water, which can't be said about dense, subterranean roots.

Veggies are complicated. Whereas iceberg lettuce is full of cells that require more calories from the body to digest, a potato is dense and slides on down without even requiring a lot of chewing. We already know there's a difference, and anyone whose ever been on a diet knows salads are encouraged, but potatoes are avoided.

We're so lucky that these nutritional breakdowns are accurate and easy to find on the internet.

Access to nutrients and avoiding sugars in all forms is the foundation of most weight-loss eating plans. I think there's a happy medium, and it's based on the ratio of protein to carbs. In order to have a balanced diet that helps the body thrive, we need to know what's in our food.
 
I think you do have to be aware of what's in your food, even veggies. However, if you are struggling with beer and fast food, you go ahead and eat 45 carrots if you want. The type of carb is so much more important than the fact that it's a carb. 7 carrot carbs do not break down in your body the same way that 7 cupcake carbs do. And they certainly do not bring the same values to your vitamin intake or your digestion. Just like potato carbs and white bread carbs are not the same. It has been proven over and over that vegetarians are healthier and live longer than carnivores. So, it's not carbs that are the problem. It's the types of carbs we choose.
 
Carbs in and of themselves are not an issue, as Missy shared, it's the types and quality of the carbs that make the difference. Yes, in theory almost anything can be abused, but it is way, WAY more unlikely to get a negative response from any vegetable vs other things you might eat. All of the longest lived populations of the world are primarily vegetarian, they don't over stuff themselves, and they are active. As with anything, health involves making good choices. I made several years worth of bad choices that lead me to gain weight and become diseased. My goal now is to make good choices. It's not always easy, but I'll eat carrots all day long to avoid a craving for something unhealthy. Simple carbs, refined carbs, and highly processed foods are way bigger issues than a few carbs from a carrot or almost any whole vegetable. Personally, I choose carrots because it doesn't take many to satisfy my snack craving and they are a good source of fiber for the ol microbiome. It may not do it for other folks, but I think the main point is to try to work out the unhealthy habits and replace them with some sort of better alternative.
 
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Carrots are on the list in the book above. To summarize what it says about carrots: Carrots are the king of vegetables. One carrot a day can cut the rate of lung cancer in half. Great for other cancers as well. Antioxidant and immune system stimulator. Good for night blindness. 3 medium carrots contain 60 calories, 586 mg of potassium, 5 grams of fiber, lots of Vitamin A & much more. Best to eat with a little fat, so eating hummus with it is perfect!
 
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What a sweet and helpful post! All of them have been. We can do this together, right? That is precisely why I posted here. I knew others were, no doubt, struggling like me even if not as badly. I have really messed up but am ready to get back on track.
YES! We can do this, and so much better to have some friends to "walk" with. You did it once and now you need to rinse and repeat. We mostly know from our years of dieting what we need to do, it is getting our @$$es in gear.
My next major obstacle is restarting to exercise. I was a regular exerciser at home and I have fallen out of grace. I have everything and more that I need just need an attitude adjustment. Here is an admission, it goes way back to my young years of dieting. I got a swimsuit catalog the other day and left it on my side table. The cover model is not a stick and has a cute shape with round muscles on her abdomen. It is inspiring me a bit, although I don't expect to ever look like that, I KNOW I have to exercise to look firmer. I did it before and I can do it again (I hope). Remember when they used to say put a picture on your fridge for motivation? Think that was back in the 70's. Oh my!
 
You can do it, Sharon. I have a NordicTrak that lives behind my bedroom door. I LOVE working out on it while watching tv, but it requires a clear 10 feet of floor that requires clearing out my living room of TWO dining tables. Everything is shoved around for other reasons, hiding my two lovely white overstuffed chairs, so I can't sit in them. Because I have a mood disorder, I need to wait to cycle into reorganizing energy. I'm happy to say I had a productive energy spurt recently and set up an approach to rearrange all this. But im a slave to mood, so a lot of time I sit and stare and plan. Because I've been sedentary, I'm way behind.

It's going to happen, though.

I live on Genessee, one of Seattle's steepest inclines. Getting out to walk is torture, uphill leading to downhill. It's agony to walk.

Worse than that, I've been paying for a YMCA membership for 15+ years. I love the Y so much and it's only five blocks away. Going to the Y turns into a spa day--steam, swim, two kinds of sauna, gym, comprehensive training room with tv's built into every machine.

What an advantage it is, though it's been affected by COVID. Still, I ache from wanting to go there.

Rambling now but that's what I do. I'm stuck. The Y and hiking go hand in hand. Add in the NordicTrak and i could have it all.

I've been COVID-phobic bit there's a time when that has to stop.

Wish me luck as I work to get organized. Call it spring cleaning. that goes for sweeping out the cobwebs in my brain.
 
Wish me luck as I work to get organized. Call it spring cleaning. that goes for sweeping out the cobwebs in my brain.

Diane, I love the idea of "spring cleaning" for the mind. You've really got me going. Literally everyone gets into spring cleaning mode; tidying up what you have and getting rid of crap that is no longer useful. But how many of us ever make a plan to tidy up our thoughts and let go of those that no longer serve us? I am sure much like actual spring cleaning, it sounds easier than it is and I'll probably only do about 1/2 of the stuff on my mental list. But I am still going to make a list of the ways my own thoughts derail me and see if I can't work some of that out. So thanks for the idea. If I manage to get to sleep without lying there for an hour wondering if I was rude or why I can't remember that I need lightbulbs ( early onset dementia? :rolleyes:), I'll be happy.
 
I had maintained a 100 pound weight loss for 15 years, but then all hell broke loose in my life and I have been doing so much emotional/stress eating. I have also gained a taste for beer. I am cutting back on that dramatically. I was drinking 6 beers a night. I am going to be totally honest here because I need help. Please no nasty comments. We are all human and react badly to bad situations and that is what I have done. Now I recognize that I need support to get back on track. I still have my pouch tool and I can use that to get back to where I want to be. Please tell me that I can lose this weight again and also understand that this can happen to anyone. Nothing in life is foolproof and lord knows I've been a fool. I have reacted so badly to my life in the past 4 years. I just wish I hadn't done this but I did and now I need to get back to where I want to be. Help!!!
You can do this! I am in a similar situation - not with alcohol but with almost any kind of sweet you can name. Over the past 5 years weight has slowly crept up - but in the past two years of that I've been eating so badly it is like I'm working at it. We do make mistakes, and we can change. It isn't easy, but we can do it!

 
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Carrots are on the list in the book above. To summarize what it says about carrots: Carrots are the king of vegetables. One carrot a day can cut the rate of lung cancer in half. Great for other cancers as well. Antioxidant and immune system stimulator. Good for night blindness. 3 medium carrots contain 60 calories, 586 mg of potassium, 5 grams of fiber, lots of Vitamin A & much more. Best to eat with a little fat, so eating hummus with it is perfect!
I obviously need to get my eyes checked...I read this fast and swore you said eating carrots with HUMANS was perfect!!!
 
Thank you so much 3momchaos! I so appreciate your positive feedback. I need it so badly. I guess that I was in a better place emotionally and in my life before and 4 years ago, my whole life imploded. I have not dealt well with it. Both my in-laws were diagnosed with dementia and Alzheimer's and needed care and they lived an hour away from me. My husband of 30 years cheated on me. Then just toss a worldwide pandemic on top of that dung heap and here I am! 90 pounds heavier and drowning in guilt and shame. I went to counseling and hubby and I did marriage counseling and that is better. I guess what I really need is for others who have been there and understand the whole gastric surgery thing to just encourage me and support me and convince me that although I have messed up, I can get back on track. My daughter has had gastric surgery, but she is too close to me and our family dynamics to talk to. I do not want to dump my mess on her. That was already done to her and I just don't want to do that to her again. (She is the one who discovered her father was cheating on me. It took a toll on her.) So both my in-laws have passed away and I have started my own home-based business selling things I sew at craft/artisan shows. I do have good things happening for me. I just need some encouraging nudges from others who have been there/done that.
I’ve just started my process and am having surgery this month what helped me get to this point has taken over 30 years I had a great Theapist that work with me to understand why I couldn’t lose the weight what help me was EMDR but you need to find a Theapist that’s been trained in it. Good luck and remember this is about you staying healthy.
 
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