How quickly we forget the basics! I am new here.

13YrPostOp · Feb 24, 2017

Hi Everyone,

I had my surgery 13 years ago and although I have maintained my weight loss, I cannot tell you how easy it is to forget the basics. I just read a thread about eating protein first...when did I start eating carbs first? I walked religiously right after my surgery for a year outside. Now I am too embarrassed to walk outside (and I am thin). I say I am thin, but when I look in the mirror all I see is a bigger person who looks terrible in everything I put on. About 2 years ago I got sick with H-Pylori and I stayed in bed for days, then weeks, and before I knew it 2 years has passed. When I have to go someplace I get up and go. But I don't put forth any effort to look nice and I don't like the way clothes fit me at all. I used to be able to put outfits together in my head. Now I put on 10 outfits before I finally settle on a workout outfit and a hat. I am on antidepressants and all of that. But I really believe I have to do the work. I am just overwhelmed and I don't know where to start. I don't feel like I can do my job well, I don't feel like I am good enough. I am 48 years old. I am too embarrassed to exercise in a gym, yet I have a reformer and can do it here but I don't. The feeling of dealing with everything I need to do is overwhelming me and paralyzingly me. Have any of you experienced this after your surgery?

Christine Seese · Feb 24, 2017

13YrPostOp said:
Hi Everyone,

I had my surgery 13 years ago and although I have maintained my weight loss, I cannot tell you how easy it is to forget the basics. I just read a thread about eating protein first...when did I start eating carbs first? I walked religiously right after my surgery for a year outside. Now I am too embarrassed to walk outside (and I am thin). I say I am thin, but when I look in the mirror all I see is a bigger person who looks terrible in everything I put on. About 2 years ago I got sick with H-Pylori and I stayed in bed for days, then weeks, and before I knew it 2 years has passed. When I have to go someplace I get up and go. But I don't put forth any effort to look nice and I don't like the way clothes fit me at all. I used to be able to put outfits together in my head. Now I put on 10 outfits before I finally settle on a workout outfit and a hat. I am on antidepressants and all of that. But I really believe I have to do the work. I am just overwhelmed and I don't know where to start. I don't feel like I can do my job well, I don't feel like I am good enough. I am 48 years old. I am too embarrassed to exercise in a gym, yet I have a reformer and can do it here but I don't. The feeling of dealing with everything I need to do is overwhelming me and paralyzingly me. Have any of you experienced this after your surgery?

Congratulations on maintaining. That is great. I can relate to your eating. I'm not quite 3 months out from surgery and I'm finding bad habits sneaking in. I tell myself that I'm still losing, it's ok, but deep down I know it is going to catch up to me. As for exercise, that has been a constant struggle for me. For the first 2 months after surgery, I had dizziness issues and used my fear of fainting as an excuse not to exercise. 2 weeks ago, I joined a gym. Knowing that I'd be the biggest person there, it was a bit daunting. So was the fact that I could hardly go very far or fast on the treadmill, but I decided it didn't matter what other people thought. Now, I just have to actually go. I find excuses not to go even though I feel better mentally after I do. All I can say is be accountable. If you don't have someone you can do that with, come here. You can always send me a personal message and I'll be happy to be your cheerleader.

Keith Wells · Feb 24, 2017

13YrPostOp said:
Hi Everyone,

I had my surgery 13 years ago and although I have maintained my weight loss, I cannot tell you how easy it is to forget the basics. I just read a thread about eating protein first...when did I start eating carbs first? I walked religiously right after my surgery for a year outside. Now I am too embarrassed to walk outside (and I am thin). I say I am thin, but when I look in the mirror all I see is a bigger person who looks terrible in everything I put on. About 2 years ago I got sick with H-Pylori and I stayed in bed for days, then weeks, and before I knew it 2 years has passed. When I have to go someplace I get up and go. But I don't put forth any effort to look nice and I don't like the way clothes fit me at all. I used to be able to put outfits together in my head. Now I put on 10 outfits before I finally settle on a workout outfit and a hat. I am on antidepressants and all of that. But I really believe I have to do the work. I am just overwhelmed and I don't know where to start. I don't feel like I can do my job well, I don't feel like I am good enough. I am 48 years old. I am too embarrassed to exercise in a gym, yet I have a reformer and can do it here but I don't. The feeling of dealing with everything I need to do is overwhelming me and paralyzingly me. Have any of you experienced this after your surgery?

Before I had surgery one of the step I had to take is getting tested for h pylori, test came back positive then had to take pills for 2 weeks and re test, was negative the second time.... Sounds like you need to find a way to reset your mind... easy to fall off the wagon but getting back on is hell.... Shouldn't feel ashamed of your self in anyway... you did this to get healthier, for you, the heck with other people, they don't know your life. Get out there and walk with confidence. You have done well with your weight... I know for me I may look into getting the extra skin removed when I am at that point... Wish you the best... Just be you and the hell with what others may or may not think....

13YrPostOp · Feb 25, 2017

Hi Keith and Christine,
Thank you both so much for your kind words of support. I have to say, I wish I saw this yesterday. I spent my whole day and night in bed and ate chocolate every chance I got. But today is a new day and you are right, I need a reset! I actually got down to 128 and maintained 128-132 for years. Once I stopped doing what it takes, I put on 20lbs. I have lost 10 of it but it has taken at least a year. I have to say, it is so easy to start grazing and not having real meals. I never realized how quickly this can get out of control. I still follow the rules of 1) no drinking until one hour after I have eaten (except sometimes I will take a small sip if I feel like I need to get a taste out of my mouth. However, if I drink too much before 1 hour after eating, I will get sick), 2) no alcohol and 3) no carbonated beverages. But the biggest issue for me is chocolate. I can literally eat a pound of chocolate over the course of a few hours. But for today, I am going to commit that I will exercise and I will throw the chocolate out. I will also get out of my bed today. It's weird because I don't want to be in my bed, but I don't want to be in any other room in the house either. But today, I will stay out of my bed! You both have no idea what it feels like to have you take the time to reply to me. THANK YOU!!!!

Teresa52 · Feb 25, 2017

13YrPostOp said:
Hi Everyone,

I had my surgery 13 years ago and although I have maintained my weight loss, I cannot tell you how easy it is to forget the basics. I just read a thread about eating protein first...when did I start eating carbs first? I walked religiously right after my surgery for a year outside. Now I am too embarrassed to walk outside (and I am thin). I say I am thin, but when I look in the mirror all I see is a bigger person who looks terrible in everything I put on. About 2 years ago I got sick with H-Pylori and I stayed in bed for days, then weeks, and before I knew it 2 years has passed. When I have to go someplace I get up and go. But I don't put forth any effort to look nice and I don't like the way clothes fit me at all. I used to be able to put outfits together in my head. Now I put on 10 outfits before I finally settle on a workout outfit and a hat. I am on antidepressants and all of that. But I really believe I have to do the work. I am just overwhelmed and I don't know where to start. I don't feel like I can do my job well, I don't feel like I am good enough. I am 48 years old. I am too embarrassed to exercise in a gym, yet I have a reformer and can do it here but I don't. The feeling of dealing with everything I need to do is overwhelming me and paralyzingly me. Have any of you experienced this after your surgery?

Take a deep breath!!!
You are not alone...I'm 16 year plus post opt. I went through the same thing. Until I took a deep look at myself in the mirror. I didn't understand, why I was felt Ill after looking at the person who was stirring back at me.

I knew the meaning of the word ILL, but I had to reapply it to my life.

ILL

I-IDENTIFY. ..L-LIKE ...L-LOVE
When you learn to identify and appreciate the small changes in your life ...learn to like yourself...than you will slowly fall in Love with yourself. When you get to that point. You should stop focusing on the weight you regained and started enjoying the weight you have lost.
BEFORE YOU KNOW IT YOU WOULD HAVE REACHED YOUR GOAL!!!

13YrPostOp · Feb 25, 2017

You are so right. I am so focused on the number on the scale to tell me whether I am okay or not. Everything I do is focused around either what I weighed today or what I should do to weigh this tomorrow. I get on the scale every day and that tells me my self worth. I needed to hear everything you all are saying. Thank you so much!!!

bigdogluver · Feb 25, 2017

I suffer from depression and take meds for it. Life always feels like a struggle, but setting goals and working towards them keeps me going. I know it sounds flighty to say that but to have a vision/goal gives one a sense of purpose which then blossoms into hope. And hope is our lifeline. You've accomplished so much. All the folks who have responded before me given some good, sound advice. Just know that we're all pulling for you and have all been in your place, in one form or another, at some time in our life. Start small - go outside for a few minutes and feel the sun on your face. Get a massage, go see or order a good movie. Buy flowers for your house. Enjoy surfing the web, like Pinterest. LOOK AT FUNNY ANIMALS PICTURES - SMILING DOGS ALWAYS MAKE ME LAUGH. All of these all little steps may seem mundane but they just might bring and shine some light into the darkness. And the more light, the less darkness. We're all pulling for you and you can do anything, you've already done so much, which proves what you are capable of. All the best, my friend.

Anna( Lady Truck driver ) · Feb 25, 2017

Ok this is going to sound weird but last year I was addicted to chocolate. I could not go one day without it. My doctor tested for allergies. He found I was allergic to eggs. When I stopped eating eggs for a week, my chocolate cravings slowed down. After 30 days of no eggs. I realized I had made it a week with no chocolate. It may not be eggs for you but something you're allergic to that your using chocolate to soothe.

13YrPostOp · Feb 25, 2017

I really believe I am addicted to chocolate too. I have thought about that so much and wondered if it was possible to eat as much chocolate as I do and not be addicted to it. When it is in my house, it is all I think about. If I wake up in the middle of the night, it is the only thing I will actually get out of bed for. I will try to start small, but before I know it, I have eaten so much chocolate I have made myself sick. I will give it up for a week or 2 and then realize that I have not eaten it and I will find it again. It's like a drug that keeps me going to it. The first bite, even the 3rd bite is delicious. By the last few bites, I am just sick to my stomach and I am beating myself up again. Has anyone else experienced this and if so, what did you do to stop this addicting behavior?

13YrPostOp · Feb 25, 2017

Thank you bigdogluver! I am going to write my goals out and tackle them one small step at a time. I have so many things I want to do however, I have so much to do I forget most of it and I don't write it down. Maybe because it is a commitment if I do. Well tomorrow my goal is to write my goals down!

Anna( Lady Truck driver ) · Feb 26, 2017

Yes

13YrPostOp said:
I really believe I am addicted to chocolate too. I have thought about that so much and wondered if it was possible to eat as much chocolate as I do and not be addicted to it. When it is in my house, it is all I think about. If I wake up in the middle of the night, it is the only thing I will actually get out of bed for. I will try to start small, but before I know it, I have eaten so much chocolate I have made myself sick. I will give it up for a week or 2 and then realize that I have not eaten it and I will find it again. It's like a drug that keeps me going to it. The first bite, even the 3rd bite is delicious. By the last few bites, I am just sick to my stomach and I am beating myself up again. Has anyone else experienced this and if so, what did you do to stop this addicting behavior?

, I use to eat it until I was sick. believing it was something else that was making me sick and the chocolate made it better but different fix it all the way. I later found out organic eggs did not affect me the same way. It is actually the gmo grain the chickens eat that caused me to crave chocolate. It's been proven that chocolate is actually good for you but in small amounts.

Anna( Lady Truck driver ) · Feb 28, 2017

I volunteer at the Salvation Army and help make meals for people in my community that can't afford it. It gets me up in the morning and out of the house. It has been one month since my surgery and the doctor says I have one month more before he will release me to go back to work with no restrictions. I drive an 18 wheeler big truck and have to be able to lift 100 pounds. I'm use to being gone a lot, so being home was making me feel like the walls we're closing in. It's hard for me to go to the gym because it is something that is only for me. When I go to help other people, it seems like it is easier to get up. I know they say it's better to exercise first thing in the morning but that's not happy thought for me. Once I volunteer in the morning, I'm more motivated in the afternoon to go the gym.