Newbie in Vermomt

[jwasieleuski]

Hi everyone I am restarting my journey after thinking about doing it 12 years ago and backing out after doctor I was seeing had a coupe patients not do well just before I was scheduled to have my surgery. Now 2 kids later and the surgery looking like the only true way to get weight off and keep it off I have found a very good hospital and group of doctors. I do want to do so much with my kids and to be able to enjoy time with my kids. I have done alot of the yo-yo dieting and just want to get my weight behind me finally and hopefully get rid of the diabetes , high blood pressure and sleep apnea behind me as well. I don't feel like I am getting the true support from my other half and some friends about this choice , but it is my choice and not theirs. So I am here looking for some on-line support from people who have gone thru this and hope to hear all the good and the bad stories that come with this.

 

[fkrebs]

Hi jwasieleuski, welcome to an outstanding forum. WLS is a decision only you can make and while it would be easier, the support of your wife and friends should not stop you. You have excellent reasons for making this choice, your children. I know one person here in NC who didn't have her husbands support prior to surgery, but once he saw the positive changes in her, he is 100% behind her and regret ever having been negative. I had my surgery in Oct of 2012 and don't regret it at all. Best thing I've ever done, don't delay again. Any time you're feeling lost, confused or have questions, come on back. We're here for you.

Frank

 

[jwasieleuski]

Thanks and I do know eventually she will come around but by then I hope to be well on my way. Alot of concern is that we have known a few people who have had it done and one guy really did change and wasnt for the best ended in a divorce and a big family mess.

 

[Dawn53]

Greetings fellow New Englander !
I am about two weeks away from WLS. I am 100% sure that it is the only option left for me. The other day at work, my very good friend and assistant suggested I just keep going with the weight loss myself since I am doing so well and cancel my surgery. She isn't like me, she has no problems maintaining a normal weight or just a few pounds over. She forgets all of the times I have gone on very low calorie diets and lost a lot of weight, only to gain it all back within 2 or 3 years plus more. And not only once or twice. These are the people, while well meaning truly don't understand what it is like to struggle with weight issues all of your adult life. When it comes down to it, I am the one that has to live in my body, with all of my co-morbidities. I don't want to quit, but I am also aware that if I were to do so, I would have wasted a lot of money, time, and energy. And I would most likely be disqualified from future surgery due to my age (soon to be 60). This is my last real hope to improve my health for the rest of my life, reduce the weight on my joints, etc.etc. The opinionated friends, I wonder if they are really my friends.
I need to stick with positive energy. It will most likely have ups and downs, pain, nausea, etc. I remember my son in law, several days after getting discharged from the hospital after his bypass, he announced to his entire family that he was sorry he ever decided to go through with the surgery. But now, he looks great, feels great. He is 4 pounds from his goal and doesn't regret it in the least.
thanks for letting me share my thoughts.
Dawn

 

[fkrebs]

Everyone's experience is different. There are many people on this board, who's spouses are 100% behind them and are loving the changes, my wife is one. WLS does change the way you see yourself and the way others see you. We were in Cancun at the start of the month and I was getting a coffee, when this woman came up and asked if I wanted to dance and come back to her room afterwards. A woman actually hit on me, that hasn't happened since my 20's. Of course I immediately turned her down, saying that my wife wouldn't understand. My wife is sitting at the table, asked me what we were talking about. I told her and she loved it. A lot of the problems that some couples have are issues that were there all along, but just hadn't been addressed yet. As long as you have a strong foundation, you will get through it. There will be bumps, but what relationship doesn't have bumps? Focus on why you're doing this and make it work.

Frank