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discouraged

C

copswife

Member
post surgery for several years and have NEVER attained my goal weight! So discouraging! After all that i went through. Can't help but beat myself up! The emotional side of my eating has never been curtailed so I continue to eat out of emotions.
 
I can understand how you feel but look at it this way. You are still 65 pounds down with your weight. I had RNY surgery 8/24/2010 and I am down 75 pounds. I started at 326 and I am now 249. There were a few months that I didn't lose anything but I am back to losing again. I still consider myself more healthy than last year and I haven't been this small in the last 30 yrs. It is hard to turn emotional eating off. I still do it but I can't consume much. Hang in there and if you ever want to talk, sned me an Email.
 
Hello copswife.

I had the surgery done 7 years ago. While going through the journey to this point I had to really face the music and start asking questions. One question I had to ask myself how did I get to this point? Let me first say I started my journey at 360. When answering this question I had to dig deep. This include using food to fill the gap of being lonely or disappointment. A lot of these disappointments and cause of loneliness was done by family. So I started by first to recognize being ok with me being in my own skin. My advice to you is to start keeping a journal, but to be honest to yourself with your answer. I hope this help.
 
From one cops wife to another: I also am an emotional eater. It has been 2 years since my surgery. I'm struggling with night time eating. I have not reached my goal as of yet. Instead I am trying to take off the 10 lbs. I have gained since surgery. The further out I am the tougher it is to stay on track. Just recently, that is to say in the past week, I have been blind-sided by a family member. I agnozied over this for days, I decided the only thing I could control was myself and not what others have done. I felt good about nothing and I had to find a way to get control of something or anything. I was determined NOT to let it take hold of me and in spite of what happened I got angry and I found strength. I felt good about NOT eating my emotions. Maybe you will need something to turn you in the opposite direction.
 
I'm going through what you are going through. I decided to go back to the beginning "without the surgery". You have not gained all you lost so find out what is the issue "psychological, emotional, lack of control" and attack it. See a therapist, dietitian, your primary md, and I know, the dreaded surgeon who will probably give you a hard time. As my daughter told me, you had a problem before the surgery, if you don't address it, the surgery won't help the problem. It has to be dealt with and I'm praying and trying my darnest not to let all this procedure be for not! Maybe we can encourage each other. Hang in there Lieutenanwife! Geri
 
Thank you Geri. I'm some-what embarrassed because I misspelled my user name. Do you think I could fine a way to correct it, HECK NO!!! Lieutenant in itself is a tricky word to spell. I haven't found an option to correct this. The only options I have found is to edit everything BUT my user name, go figure. Thanks for your reply. We all can be encouraging to each other.

I've come to the firm belief no one can do this for me. But it sure is great to share struggles with others going through the same thing. Thanks again!
 
Y'all have got to stop beating yourselves up. Until the insurance companies get this right and add into the cost of the surgery, the need for psychological needs of the patient, we are all on our own so to speak. Support groups are the best way we can figure out our problems and challenges and tackle them.

I learned about 3 weeks post op that I too am a comfort eater. I'd had an argument with my husband. I was so angry, I didn't know what to do. I remember as if it were 10 minutes ago how it all played out..I was alone in the house, I hung up the phone and stomped into the kitchen. I threw open the refrigerator and looked and looked at everything inside. I realized it was ridiculous and I remember screaming out loud as I slammed the door shut..."there's nothing in here that I can eat!!!!"

That was it. I stood there seemingly frozen in time. It hit me like a sledge hammer. I had just discovered that I was a comfort eater.

Do I still want food when I am feeling pain or loneliness? Heck yes. The difference is....I just won't give in. I am now in charge of me...my life...my body. Just as you are. Y'all have got to remember that you are the only ones that control who you are and what you do. No one can make you feel inferior without your permission. No one can hurt you without your permission.

Just stop giving it. Look at where you are now. So what if you haven't yet reached your weight goals. Look what you have achieved!!!! You know about your issues. You know they are pulling you down. So let's all work together and see if there is a way to pull each of you out of the ditches you feel you are in.

I have a question....if I manage to set up a chat room somewhere, is there anyone that would be interested in hooking up? We could set up a specific day/time of the week for chatting and talk things out. Also, we can use instant messenger to talk to each other...set up a chat group that way. What do y'all think?
 
Latrell, I am willing to join a group, you are absolutely correct, after the surgery you are on your own. I am 18 months post surgery and just know letting the surgeon know that there are issues with knowing what to eat. I went back last week to the physician and their " bite wait 10 minutes" have changed to take 1-2 bites then wait 10 minutes. Is this being "doubled-minded"? That is why some of us are having issues.
Geri
 
I can't do the 1-2 bites then wait 10 minutes. It is just not feasible for me. What happens in my case is I get bored, get sick of waiting and will drink a huge drink of water or a few ounces of OJ or some tea. There goes the meal right out the window. A lot of times this is exactly what I do, hence my challenge of having lost too much weight. (Will it ever be over. LOL.)

I'll look into creating a free chat room. I know there are some free chats out there. I haven't seen one associated with this site. Possibly an Administrator could help us out here.

Anyone else interested?
 
We now have a chat room on this site. Kevin added it yesterday. Look at the tool bar at the top of the forum page and you will see the link. It's hard to see because it's white font on a light backdround. It's on the left of the page on the 2nd row of the tool bar. I asked Kevin to try to make it more visable.
 
Yeahhhhhhhhhhhh. Thank you thank you thank you. Way cool. Now we need days/times to meet and chat. Any thoughts?
 
I just took the chat room down again, we've been having problems with it all day, so hopefully I'll have it back up sometime tomorrow
 
I am so glad you told us that, Kevin. I tried to get into it and couldn't find a link. Thought my age was starting to show.
 
It seems we have some wonderful people here. First of all, it is hard. But, look were most of us have come from. The next thing I had to realize is there is the new me. I realize, I got a second chance. A chance that many people don't get. I have made life changes, most are small that add up. I struggle with the weight but it is going in the right direction. I just got done cooking my dinners and lunches for the rest of the week (I work a 4 day week). I take the bus to work most days. That gets me walking to the bus stop and to work. When the weather was nicer, I rode my bike. It had been decades since I rode a bike. Now, it is the exception to drive to work. I don't like the gym so that is my trade off. Find out what works and make a commitment. Remember, you don't have to like it. I took up snowshoeing. I went for the first time last weekend and it was so much fun. I try to walk 3 miles a day on my weekends. It has been a priority because I believe my life depends on it. My surgeon said that people that keep the weight off tend to exercise at least 45 min most days. I have lost 125 lbs. I would like to lost another 50 or so. Keep the faith, you can do it.!!!
 
I do not like the gym. I need toset a schedule for swimming. My grown son has offered to take me. thanks for your insight. You nare right about the 2nd chance then I blew it and the only one to grasp it again is me. I have 2 other grownups in the house to cook for,I am retired and live on a fixed income so that it why I say Ia the onlyone who canchange my weight. I just want the easy road and there is not one of those on this map.patti
 
Patti-try this for live chat: Click on FORUMS tab at top of page. Log in. Scroll down to the bottom of the page and you should see 3 tabs titled Shoutbox, Active Users and Member's Chat. Click on the Member's chat tab. You will see messages that have been posted in the chat room in the big box. Click on the smaller box on the left side of the page. Type your message and click enter or use the send button on the screen. YOU MUST BE LOGGED IN AND BE ON THE FORUMS PAGE IN ORDER TO DO THIS. If you are not logged in you will not see the third tab for Member's Chat.
 
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