Brenda2010
Member
Hi guys,
So reality has hit, my body contouring surgery is in 11 days! OH MY GOD!!!
My RNY last March was my 3rd surgery in 3 years & while I was a little jittery for each of them, I wasn't worried much about complications. But for this one... I'll be under for 6-8 hours and the reality of that hit me hard this week. This is beyond major!
All along, I've been very confident in my research and desire to have this done so I was able to brush off anxiety & joke about it. But the last couple days I'm more stressed than I've ever been. I'm breaking out in hives & even had an emotional meltdown, breaking down in tears. Just scared to death and totally overwhelmed. It doesn't help that at work this past month, I've been trying to get ahead of the next 6-8 weeks' worth of deadlines, all while keeping up with my normal workload. I'm in a race against my never-ending to-do list.
In addition to my worry about possible complications and facing the obviously painful and difficult recovery, I'm putting so much faith in the skill of my surgeon. I've done my homework but still, this man is reconstructing my whole body. And he's just a man. My results are in his hands and I have no control whatsoever over the outcome. Yikes.
I still want this with all my heart, I'm just looking for some support. Only 2 people in my life fully support this. Others reluctantly accept it and there are a few others who I never should have told. Their reactions can only be described as hostile. I know the sentiment is that this is a luxury that I can't afford and that it's driven by vanity. I've actually been told, "Well I'd love a tummy-tuck but couldn't justify it". People just don't understand how compromised the skin becomes with obesity. Someone's belly after having a child is not the same as mine is after 38 years of yo-yo dieting and cramming an extra 125 pounds in this skin. Or is it that some people believe we deserve to have the hanging skin as a reminder, since we destroyed it ourselves? Fat shaming is so common that that I believe that could be a strong possibility.
I have identified as a fat girl since I was 7 years old. I was ridiculed for it my whole childhood & that turned me into an isolated, socially fearful adult. I need to stop being judged because of my body inadequacies. I need this surgery. I'll have significant scarring but I can handle that. I just need the scraps of obesity gone.
Thanks for listening. I'm at work but suddenly couldn't concentrate because of the anxiety. It helped to write.
So reality has hit, my body contouring surgery is in 11 days! OH MY GOD!!!
My RNY last March was my 3rd surgery in 3 years & while I was a little jittery for each of them, I wasn't worried much about complications. But for this one... I'll be under for 6-8 hours and the reality of that hit me hard this week. This is beyond major!
All along, I've been very confident in my research and desire to have this done so I was able to brush off anxiety & joke about it. But the last couple days I'm more stressed than I've ever been. I'm breaking out in hives & even had an emotional meltdown, breaking down in tears. Just scared to death and totally overwhelmed. It doesn't help that at work this past month, I've been trying to get ahead of the next 6-8 weeks' worth of deadlines, all while keeping up with my normal workload. I'm in a race against my never-ending to-do list.
In addition to my worry about possible complications and facing the obviously painful and difficult recovery, I'm putting so much faith in the skill of my surgeon. I've done my homework but still, this man is reconstructing my whole body. And he's just a man. My results are in his hands and I have no control whatsoever over the outcome. Yikes.
I still want this with all my heart, I'm just looking for some support. Only 2 people in my life fully support this. Others reluctantly accept it and there are a few others who I never should have told. Their reactions can only be described as hostile. I know the sentiment is that this is a luxury that I can't afford and that it's driven by vanity. I've actually been told, "Well I'd love a tummy-tuck but couldn't justify it". People just don't understand how compromised the skin becomes with obesity. Someone's belly after having a child is not the same as mine is after 38 years of yo-yo dieting and cramming an extra 125 pounds in this skin. Or is it that some people believe we deserve to have the hanging skin as a reminder, since we destroyed it ourselves? Fat shaming is so common that that I believe that could be a strong possibility.
I have identified as a fat girl since I was 7 years old. I was ridiculed for it my whole childhood & that turned me into an isolated, socially fearful adult. I need to stop being judged because of my body inadequacies. I need this surgery. I'll have significant scarring but I can handle that. I just need the scraps of obesity gone.
Thanks for listening. I'm at work but suddenly couldn't concentrate because of the anxiety. It helped to write.
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