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There's food everywhere :( HELP!!!

aleyva01

aleyva01

Member
Its been 11 days since surgery and my first week I had a positive attitude and was doing really great up until yesterday. I live at home with my parents and 2 brothers and our house is the entertaining house in our family where aunts, uncles, and cousins get together on weekends and holidays. This has been going on for years. A year ago I set out on this bariatric adventure and made many changes in poor eating habits, with mistakes and relapses along the way. I know its a never ending battle for me. Well there have been 2 weekends that have past since I've been home from the hospital (including the day I came home from the hospital) and still there are about 20 family members who come and bring food and bbq and eat and expect me to feel ok with it and sit and talk and carry on like nothing has changed. I refuse to go back to the old me, I didn't have this surgery to fail. I feel like they are setting me up to fail. Is it always going to be this hard? Is this happening to anyone else?? Help!!!!!
 
ALEYVA-As we make our way through our new journey we will face many, many obstacles. It would be unrealistic to think the world is going to change to make things easy for us. It is sad that you have to face this challenge in your own home but the fact of the matter is that you do. Since you are 11 days post surgery you probably don't really want the things everyone is bringing over. You should still be in or just starting phase 2 of your meal plan and eating a full liquid diet. The type of food that is coming into your home will quite literally make you sick if you try to eat it. Just try to stay strong and remember why you had the surgery. You are doing very good with your weight loss and seeing the scale go down should help you to remain strong for the long haul. If you think it would do any good you could always mention to your visitors that you do not appreciate the parade of unhealthy food they are bringing into the house but keep it amicable.
 
Thanks.... I do realize I can't control what others do or eat but they've known for some time about my WLS and I was just hoping for a little more support than what I was given. It's a weird feeling because I didn't want to eat the foods because I know they'd make me sick not to mention I can't tolerate the smell of it but retraining your brain and old habits is difficult as im sure your aware.
 
Hi Aleyva, Pat is right and you are wise to stay away from the foods they bring because they will make you sick. One thing I have learned at my support group meetings is that we need to take care of our selves first and other second and you will need to remember that as long as you live in a busy household. Right now you should be averse to eating just for the mear fact you probably aren't hungry, I know it took me a year to get my appatite back. You not only have to retrain your brain but you also need to retrain those around you so in time they will remembrer not to offer you a huge plate of food and let you make your own plate or give yopu really small portions, my family and friends have all know that I can't eat huge meals and they are not insulted if I make my own plate or take home lunch and dinner for the next two days:D which is what happens when I get that heaping plate full. Hang in there and stay strong, you will do fine. :cool: Tom
 
Hi Aleyva, I think it's human nature--- some people want us to fail, some want to test our resolve, and some just don't think of anyone but themselves. But you will have superior willpower and laugh in their faces when you lose all of your excess weight. HA! Laugh in their faces!
Seriously, when my husband quit drinking eons ago, many of his "friends" would shove beers at him, or give him a coke laced with whiskey. Not funny. When he lost his status as the *worst drunk in the crowd* I think they each had to examine their own drinking patterns. Eventually the true friends stuck and the others fell by the wayside.
I would try to find a support group at the specific time that everyone is gathering for the party, or choose that time to get your exercise in. They'll get the picture.
 
Aleyva- You and I are on similar paths! I had the Roux-en-y on July, 16 2012. Our house is the family meeting point as well and always seems like something is going on! Birthdays,cook outs, you name it! I've had a few breakdown points here this last week where I cried over food I couldn't have! Who would of thought!? It wasn't because I was hungry. I'm never hungry when I see or smell the foods, I just miss it. Does that makes sense? I miss chewing! Eating only liquids for the last two weeks tends to get you down when everyone is eating pizza and bbq chicken, but i've tried to be strong in the matter and keep thinking about all those pounds falling off! I see my doctor tomorrow for my two week check up and I hope he gives me something a little better than liquids! Try keeping your head up. I just remember what got me into this mess and for me I don't EVER want to go back. Stay Strong!! You can do it!
 
Hi everyone! I really understand where you are coming from here. I thought it was always going to be rough watching others eat things that you may love to eat. At first I hated it, but now it has gotten so much easier for me. I am almost at the 6 week mark...that will be on Tuesday. I started hating watching others eat in front of me...now it doesn't really bother me. I basically know what I can and can't have....so if they are having something really good, I will take just a teaspoon of it, just so I am not craving it, as long as I know that I can eat it.

Make sure to use a small plate, and take tiny bites and chew everything really well. If someone offers you something...and we all know they will, just politely turn them down and tell them you appreciate the offer, but it's not something you may have yet. I didn't think this would work with my grandkids (ages 5 and 2) but once they know I can't have it, they will tell me....Nana you can't eat this, and I will say you are right, and I really don't want it. It will get easier, and they will see how great you are doing and be happy for you that you made the decision to get this done.
 
I see opportunity here. After phase 4 of the meal plan you will be starting to work all types of food back into your life. When people show up at your house take a couple of pieces of something you will eventually be able to eat and stick it in the freezer for later. Of course you'll have to stay away from fried chicken and other fatty things as well as things high in carbs. My guess is that pretty soon you will have plenty of ready to heat and eat food compliments of your friends and family :) :) :)
 
omg i felt depressed an upset an im 2 weeks post-op an i was sooo used to "comfort food" an i messed up an ate a piece of chicken an now my stomach hurts BAD!!! im in major pain....what should i do?? help plz?
 
Garcia....one fix only.... stop it.

I'm the hard-core-just-do-it person on here. You ate too soon; you were told not to...well, there's a reason for guidelines. You'll get! through the physical pain and hopefully have learned it's just not worth it to eat what you can't eat yet. Be patient, you'll be fine.
 
There's not much you can do except to wait things out. More than likely you will throw up and / or end up with dumping syndrome. Since you are only 2 weeks post op you are no where close to being healed. If you throw up and see any blood you will need to call your surgeon's answering service immediately. I'm not trying to scare you or anything but there could be complications.

We all learn from our mistakes and my guess is that you won't do this again. Please follow your meal plan so you can heal properly and won't have to go through something like this again.
 
I am just four days post op and too soar to even think about eating. I do worry about that exact same situation. Social time revolves around food. I even had a dream about food already. We can expect the world around us to change but perhaps finding comfort in the people on here can help a little bit. I don't know how I am going to overcome it all but I know that I didn't do this surgery for nothing. Just keep in mind how your felt prior to the surgery and remember it isn't worth it.
 
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