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Waiting for the surgery call--feeling unsure

S

Sue S.

Member
I got called on Thursday--they needed a new chest xray and I've been cleared for surgery. I had the chest xray Friday morning so am expecting to hear something this upcoming week.
I'm scared and excited at the same time. Anyone feel like that right before--like "am I doing the right thing or shouldn't I do it or ???"
I know all the reasons I'm here..and that I need help...but it's scary. So far, all my friends at work have been very supportive..till I ran into one Friday that told me all the reasons he hated gastric bypass. It's someone that cares about me so it was kind of disquieting.
Also, I haven't told my sister about it because I think she'll give me grief.
How do you handle all these feelings?
My husband said it's just cold feet and it's understandable.
What do you think? Any comments?
 
Hi Sue! You wouldln't be normal if you weren't scared to have surgery! I was terrified on the day I had mine...forget about the week before! I had such a hard time focusing on the smallest of tasks. Believe me, I don't want to discourage you but the "am I doing the right thing?" feeling doesn't go away for a while after.

One person shouldn't sway you or make you feel bad about your choice to have bariatric surgery. You have to do this for yourself. That person will come around when they see you are a success...and if they don't, that's ok too. Just look at all the people who ARE supportive to you. One person really doesn't matter, no matter how close you are to them.

Tell your family. Your sister may already know 'through the grapevine' about it but not be able to approach the subject with you for fear that you may get upset with her. Tell her. If she doesn't like it, again, she will come around. Sometimes people need to take a bit of time to absorb information like that before they can really say if it's good or not. Take her to a support group meeting so that she is exposed to others like you. Maybe she will understand the motivation behind wanting/needing this surgery.

You never said if the negative people are overweigh or skinny. I find that those who are overweight are either 100% involved and want to know more or are 100% against it because they feel like they have to face up to their own fat issues. Skinny people don't get it. I find that they think that we are cheaters. If they only knew how hard it is to get to the surgery date, and how hard it is afterwards when people around you are eating and you can't (believe me, I had my surgery 2 weeks before Christmas!) they would change their narrow minds. As long as your husband is supportive and understands, that's all that really matters. He's the one who has to directly deal with you on this rollercoaster you are about to get on.

You are doing the right thing! You will be happier in the long run no matter which surgery you choose. I wish you the best in your decisions and know that it will all work out for you.

-Lisa
 
Lisa, thank you so much for your kind words--they helped. And what really helped me was I called my sister and told her and she was wonderful--not what I'd imagined at all. Very supportive--told me to keep her informed and she'd pray for me. She said I was brave--that she'd be too afraid. Made me feel good. I guess it's true that many times what we make up in our minds is nothing like what really happens.
After I talked to her, and my husband, I'm feeling much better about the whole thing.
The people here are wonderful. You are wonderful, Lisa. Thank you.
 
Hi Sue. It is OK tobe nervouse I was scared, nervouse, wondering if I was doing the right thing, but I had weight issues all my life and could never stay at a healthy weight. Don't feel alone because you not. We were talking in my support group this week about what others say to us, the good and the bad. My boss acted like he was supportive then said "I know someone who had the surgery and gained it all back" having been to some support groups and the seminar I know this happens when someone doesn't stick to the lifestyle change and reverts back to their old ways.

The surgery is just a tool and we all need to remember that. For me it has been a wonderfull journey, and my familly has been there by my side the whole way, one of my daughters had the surgery so I knew a little of what to expect but not the emotions, that is where the support groups come in, I attended them 3 times a month and now a try and make it once a month, but it was good for me to talk with and hear from others who had the surgery and now i get to share how I felt when someone is nervouse, I hope you are going to support groups, they were a great place for me to calm some of my fears.

Just remeber why you are doing this, i know you thought long and hard and it was a difficult descision to make, because we all went through the same descision prosses. A great physicist once said: the definition of insanity is doing the same thin over and over again expectin different results. I tried everything to keep weight off since I was a teen, and the resul was always the same. So suround yourself with supportive people that know you are having weght loss surgery to be healthy and happy and stick around for a long time.

I have no regrets and I am almost 2 years out I can look in the mirror now and not feel hopelessly obese :( . I can buy clothes that aren't from the mens big and tall section, Levi's fit me and on and on.... I would say the most difficult part of buying cloths now is not looking for a store that has my size but having to trying on cloths because if I dont I have to bring it back for a smaller size. Good luck and trust your how you first felt when you started of on this journey to a healthier you. :cool: Tom
 
Sue-I can't believe this. It’s like looking in a mirror. The hospital called me last week to tell me they need another chest X-ray. I was approved for my RNY just over a week ago. I am also feeling both excited and scared along with a lot of other emotions, some of which are difficult to put into words. I go back and forth several times a day wondering if I am making the right decision. I even wake up and go to sleep thinking about it. As for the support issues, I am no longer working so I don’t share that experience BUT I definitely share the grief from the sister thing. Some people just don’t understand how this can be possible but without going into too much detail I think the easiest way to put it is if you get grief from your sister over everything else you’re gonna get it for this too *LOL*. Am I right? Hon, if you’re looking for her approval, forget about it because you don’t need it :)

I try to handle these feelings the same way I handle all the other things that I can’t seem to neatly store away until needed. ONE DAY AT A TIME. Your husband is a wise man, it is cold feet and I’m thinking everyone facing this surgery is going through the exact same thing. Hang in there and think about how you will feel after it’s over and then how you are going to look and feel (a healthier you) many months down the road on this journey. Before you know it you will be counting backwards from 100 and the next thing you know it’s going to be done and your new life will begin :)
 
Hi Sue, I'm also waiting for my surgery date. I know what you are going through. I have a great support group here at home, my family and my weight loss support group. You are always going to find someone in the crowd that will give you negativity regarding your choices. I hear it all the time, but 99% of the time I hear good things. I seem to be having a hard time eating right now, nothing tastes good to me and some days I just want to hide in my room and cry. But I know that I am doing the right thing going through with the surgery. If you every need to vent pm me, I'm here for you!
 
Hi Nana:

What happened to me is, I decided not to have the surgery. They had us start losing weight when I was in a preparation class--and I continued to lose after the class was over..I've lost 44 pounds now with diet and exercise. I started walking every day on my lunch hour. I enjoy it and am amazed how much stronger I've gotten.

I just could never make peace with the surgery--I think it's just not right for me. I joined a weight management group that meets weekly, so I can stay on track and keep losing. I have until June to make my mind up for sure (I could go back now and say I still want the surgery and do it--I don't think I will).

I have at least 4 or 5 people at work that have had the surgery and are very successful with the maintenance--so I have good role models. Anyways, I wish you all the best on your weight loss journeys.

Take care, Sue
 
Thanks for the update Sue. I'm glad that you found something that makes you happy and are continuing to lose. I have been trying a long time and cannot get my weight down. Now its medically necessary because I have a prolapsed bladder and my ob/gyn says it needs fixed, but he won't fix it until I have lost alot of weight, so he suggested the surgery. I've been going to websites and talking to lots of people, so I know that I am doing the right thing.
 
The surgery is definitely not for everyone and the decision shouldn't be taken lightly. Glad to hear you are doing so well with dieting and exercise Sue. Please let us know how you are doing from time to time. Your posts are an inspiration to others :)

If I had to choose a regret it would be that I do not enjoy food anymore. But that's what got me into trouble in the first place, right? *LOL*
 
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