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Grief for past life?

J

Jane

Member
This may sound crazy but I was wondering if anyone went through a grief period with the complete change of life style that you have after surgery? My surgery is scheduled for 6/4 and of course many emotions racing through my head. I know as unhealthy that my life has been it is still the only one I know. Just wondering...:confused:
 
Interesting question, I hope that someone can answer it. I'm sure its hard for many people to give up their old life, but our health is more important. YOU CAN DO THIS!
 
Hi Jane. I did kind of. My fear was that I wasn't going to be able to eat anything I liked any more and life would be miserable without my food or I would always be hungry and not able to eat. I also thought that it wouldn't work for me and I would not be able to lose the weight and I would have done it all for nothing. Maybe I was the only one who felt this way:confused: but I doubt it, sometimes when we feel all alone with how we feel we find out we are not alone. Truth be said, I do not regret a thing, the things I thought I wouldn't be able to eat anymore I can still eat, I just eat a lot less of them. We just need to listen to our bodies, a healthier meal plan does not mean foods we don't like it just means a good balance foods to help us get and stay healthy. All the emotions and feeling that we are losing something is normal, your not alone, I know exactly how you feel. Hang in there. :cool: Tom
 
Hi Jane,
I have actually found that I have lost my cravings for many types of food. I also found that the first bite tastes the best, so when I crave something unhealthy I take one bite to get the taste and then I stop. As Tom said you don't have to stop eating the foods you like you just eat a lot less.

It is so worth whatever we may have to give up, lsoing the weight feels better than the food tastes!
 
I sometimes miss the old me but... the new me is much better! I did not think it would work for me but even if i wanted to eat more i could'nt possilbly! most days i have to force myself to eat i am never hungry. You will have renewed energy and so many positive things to look forward to good luck!!
 
Hi Jane,

I'm scheduled for surgery on 06/06/12. Yes, I think that's a good way of putting it; I've grieved for the life where I was able to eat whatever I wanted & know full well that I go into this voluntarily and due to what I have done to my body during my 46 yrs of life. I have remorse for the things that were foolish, selfish and gluttonis (if that's even a word). Mostly that I have put myself at risk and harmed others in the process. This is serious stuff; I'm having my small intestine rerouted and stomach reconfigured. There is no turning back one this procedure is done.

But ask yourself this; can I continue to live today and for the rest of my life the way things currently stand?
Is it possible that I will put myself at risk and possibly become someone dependent on others or burdensome to them?
Do I owe it to myself to take care of the one body God gave me, do the best with it and be there for others and be there as long as I can do so?
Will I be able to make life long changes I can live with quickly without tools to guide me along and give me a quick boost to encourage me to be able to get moving faster?

I guess these are all questions I have asked myself and been able to say "yes" to.
Do I WANT to have this surgery, no, I wish I had never let my weight become an issue where this would become a tool for a total life transformation.
But I do believe that today, at age 46 and the weight I am, if I don't take this opportunity, I'm not sure what the alternatives will be & I seriously doubt they will improve without help.

I think your feelings are normal; you are grieving the familar.
We all go into the surgery wondering if this will really be the answer.
The answer is always the same.
Are you willing to do what you need to do to ensure success and make the lifelong changes necessary to keep you from where you presently are life and health-wise.

I'm not trying to come across as mean, rather, will your surg tomorrow, it's down to brass tacts here and you asked.

I genuinely to get you & where you're coming from; this is how I've been dealing my grief and wanted to share with you in hopes that you may be comforted.

Jane, I wish you all the best of success with your health and everything in life.
I believe if you've come this far, you already know the answers to your questions.
If you didn't go into this surgery without some hesitation than I think you are doing this hoping it will cure you & you're smart enough to know it's a good tool, but not the cure.
You CAN do this; so many have been successful for years and everyone I have personally spoke with have assured me that they would make the same decision today knowing what they do.

I won't say good luck, because you don't need luck, I say take care of yourself, stay positive and focuses knowing that you will be success & feeling much better very soon.

~ Mary
 
I am aware of mourning process that we go through as our body changes neg. Or with new health problems. I was very petite until my 20's. Then yo yo'd up to 264 to 160 never down to my118. So it seems possible but i hope not yet, for me i could not recognive my new body or new size in clothes for quite a while. How old are you? Elaine (lee0412)
 
Hi silly question POPCORN my favorite food. Is this a do? Nearly three wks post op now on pureed think i got to creative....extreme high up gas nothing worked...walking, gas ex, finlly baking soda (best of all) any ideas? Elaine
 
Wow Mary....well said. What you said about about a good tool but not a cure hit home for me. I live with friends and they are my support most the time. I am finding alot of support here in everyones posts. Its great not to have to go thru this alone. I just know if i keep going the way i am right now, it will kill me. I take 19 pills a day and insulin. Praying hard that this will get rid of some of my health issues or atleast slow them down. Good luck to you both with your surgeries since they are soon.

Missey
 
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Wish i would have done mine much younger!! Wish you my prayers and suggestion at all times let your medical team know if anything bothers you . Elaine (lee0412)
 
I agree, Mary, what a great post. I too am wondering how I will handle things in my house when I have my surgery. Some days I feel that I want to start my liquid diet early, but am worried that if I do, then it will be harder to be on it longer. I am only required one week. Tonight I have to fast for my blood work in the morning. 3 weeks till surgery, I really can't wait!
 
lee0412 said:
Hi silly question POPCORN my favorite food. Is this a do? Nearly three wks post op now on pureed think i got to creative....extreme high up gas nothing worked...walking, gas ex, finlly baking soda (best of all) any ideas? Elaine
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According to the mael plans from the surgeon and nutritionist popcorn is not supposed to be tried until 6 months after surgery. I have been eating it since 6 weeks after surgery without any issues. It has been and will probably always be my favorite snack food. I told my nutritionist and she said almost everyone tries popcorn before they are supposed to and commented on how she can't figure out why. I'm thinking she's not a popcorn fan *LOL*

As for the gas thing, I use generic GasEx and have one just before I eat a meal or snack regardless of what I'm having. If I get gas afterwards I take another one. This works for me most of the time. The gas issue does get better over time and I'm planning on cutting way back on taking the GasEx to see what happens. I've read that it's normal to pass gas 15-20 times a day. That seems like a lot to me but they take into account when you are sleeping too.
 
Mary, Great post!

Elaine and Pat, I love popcorn too, think I tried it after three months:rolleyes: but now I can eat it in moderation and not a heaping bowl at a time.

NanaG, Start the liquid diet when you should, because it does get old real quick:p and I think it would just get more difficult the longer you are on it. :cool: Tom
 
To everyone that replued to this - you were wonderful! This is my first time reading/joing and all the advice you gave was heartwarming and so true!
 
QueenJ9 said:
To everyone that replued to this - you were wonderful! This is my first time reading/joing and all the advice you gave was heartwarming and so true!
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Welcome QueenJ, Glad you are here. How are you feeling? your almost a month out your doing great on your weight loss. :cool: Tom
 
good morning~ i am 10 years post-op & boy my life changed! people did not recognize me, people treated me different since i now look like a 'normal' person. there is truly whol array of emotions as the body changes. you need to be accutely aware of what is happening physically and mentally. i would suggest the support groups and if you can afford a therapist that would be great! I don't miss the uncomfortable body that I had, i felt like a stuffed sausage, i am 5 foot and reached 310 at time of surgery. My lowest was about 135 but i am maintaining about 155-165. i do throw up all the time still, i never lost my appetite so i still struggle with dealing with food. i can eat donuts & cookies and digest them much better then fruit, veggies, beef, chicken, seafood...well everything else. i wish you lots of luck. God Bless you on your journey!
 
Good morning SJameson, Welcome. You are an inspiration, you are doing well. I hear some people have troubles digesting food even years out, it is strange how we are all so differnt even having the same WLS. I do ok with some sweets and others I break out in a sweat and feel and feel like dumping, sometimes I do and sometimes I dont. I am able to handle all kinds of meat though, so I happy about that. I can totaly relate to feeling like a stuffed sausage, I never really thought about it until you said it:eek: LOL. That is really good advice about the support groups and even counciling if need be, it is such a life changing experiance for us when we have stryggled all our lives with weight and to finally be at a healthy weight and keep it is a new way of life, and yes some people do treat us different and are much nicer to us, I don't know what to think of them:confused: however I do feel bad for them that they base how they treat someone on apperance. My friends and family treat me the same though as it should be. Thanks for dropping in, I am sure you have more great advice to share and some stories of your up and downs on your journey. :cool: Tom
 
Well I would just like to say I am 8 weeks out from my surgery and I am very depressed. This is my 3rd post here and I only come and post when I am sad. I do miss being able to just eat. It is all such a process. I hate my vitamins and I hate taking capsules apart and taking them in applesauce. And the past ten days, I have really had some stomach issues - nauseous and feeling like I am going to throw up. I thought it was a bit of a stomach bug, but I really don't know. I feel terrible today and it is so depressing to think of those protein shakes that I don't like and trying to get them down. I tried to call dietician yesterday but have not heard back from her. I really want to take my nexium, but as a capsule, not in the applesauce. Maybe it is all in my head, but I still have to deal with it somehow. And I do have an anti depressant, but it is also a capsule - I just am not happy :(
 
H, there should be a viamin out there that you can take as a capsule, the only thing I was requred to crush was my BP meds and I was off them in a matter od a week or so, if your nutritionist doesnt call back keep hounding them until they do:rolleyes: Your nausia sounds like dumping, keep a log of what you eat and see what is making you ill, after 8 weeks your meal plan is pretty much open to what you can tolerate but sometimes that isn't very much. Try some different protien shakes I have some I really like but I keep looking for different ones just incase I am on the road and cant find my usual, my favorites are chocorite powder and eas pre made shakes, they are both great cold and the powder is really good blended up with some ice in the blender with a little fruit added if you can tolerate that. Hang in there. :cool: Tom
 
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